It's My LiFe

i think this will be my last entry HERE

2007-03-19T12:55:00.000+08:00

i wont delete this blog or anything. just leave it here. like that. yeap.
i've moved. but i guess i wont put it here until im much more ready.not that i have many readers anyway.
just ask me if you want my new url.
so. i guess that's about it.
happy moving, Muz.
(:

psychological?

2007-03-13T09:56:00.000+08:00

being emo and sad and whatever other emotions you wanna feel. i think they're psychological stuffs. it kinda depends on one's psychological level. how they think of things, what they see those things as, and how they should react to them.

there can never be a permanent cure to unhappiness and emoism, that's for sure. no one can be happy ALL the time. then again, it sucks to feel pissed or sad or fucked up almost every day too. it's like a virus in your life.

i think God is Great. He gave us feelings to taste both sides of life. yes, we go high when we are happy.and we complain on the downsides of life that we face every day. but i believe it's all His arrangements as to see how faithful we are to Him. whether we seek Him in times of confusion. whether we thank Him when we gain an achievement and during moments of joy.

i don't know whether the daily life that i'm facing now makes me stronger. i'm still learning to pick myself up after every downfall. with the help of my dearests in school. and His guidance when i seek for it.

putting aside about feelings and stuffs. i feel like blogging about making friends.

i like meeting new people, making acquaintances and befriending them, for certain ones. but on certain times, just on certain times, i get kinda tired of the process and all. just sometimes, i wish i'm not so friendly. at the times when i don't get back a positive or an expected response from the other party. there was one case of me trying to befriend a person on msn, and what i got back was "i hate girls who tak tau malu" as his PM[personal message] on msn because i put "what an egoist" on my msn PM. hurhur. there was also another case of this very quiet guy, who annwered my wuestions in the minimum number of words possible when i asked questions. it's like, either he's naturally quiet, or being unopen, or simply unfriendly [which to me was unlikely since he accepted my request in msn]. so it's at times like this when i feel "am i being too chatty or issit their problem?"

looking at another view, there was also another case of this Indian(i think) guy who added me on msn but he didnt come online for so long that i resorted to deleting him off my contact list. and one un-fine day he suddenly initiated a chat and i was kinda freaked out by his presence. and i was not in the peak period of making friends. so i was being hostile to him, and he never bothered me anymore. haha.

i still like making friends. but to people who care to make friends the same way i do. and to people who will give me a positive response.

after all, if i'm not friendly, i would've never felt the pleasures of life with my dearests [ps: yeap, go ahead and think it's you&you. coz it IS about you&you. and a whole lot more people. wahahas *grins*] now, would i? hahaha.

sleep happy

2007-03-09T13:54:00.000+08:00

and you'll wake up happy and energised. yupp. another philosophical statement. haha.
but they say it works.. only that i havent tried it for myself. i can't find the right night to try it. hurhur.
thanks for listening that night(:
and oh. sorry for throwing my pencil case at you. i was suffering from attention-deficiency at that moment, you see. heh.
and i think i've shown the ugly side of me for a few times when i was with you guys. sorry for that too=/

hmmmm. that's about it i guess.
so long.

``what would the worst thing be if you
took the wheel and you lost control
no one is safe inside your safety zone``

simply striking

2007-03-06T09:09:00.000+08:00

**
my Sunday entry:__

as far as i see it: you're happy.you only have that sad-worried expression on you when something BIG is bothering you.you light things up.you're funny.i like your sense of humour.i like it when you smile coz i'll smile along with you.i like the way you live each day.

as far as i see it: you're sweet.you're funny.you're a good listener.i like your sense of humour. i like it when you smile coz i'll smile along with you.i like the way you think.i like the fact that you care to listen.

i appreciate the presence of both of you in my life(:

---

my definition of sacrifice- an act of doing anything to be with your loved ones.your friends.your speacial friends.
sacrifice is waking up early in the morning to spend more time with them in school, when you can sleep longer.
sacrifice is sparing your own free time to accomodate to their needs or wants, when you can do things of your own.
sacrifice is setting your alarm at 10pm and waking up just to talk to them or wish them goodnight, when you're already in dreamland.
wait, that can be stupidity, not sacrifice if the effort of waking up to call the loved ones is unappreciated.
stupidity can be seen when u know you are sick and you have medical leave but you still go to school just to meet your loved ones.
stupidity can be seen when you care to spare your time for others you love when they're pissed or angry coz you think your presence around them matters, but they shrugged you off instead. and they never said sorry.
so i'm saying, unappreciated or excessive sacrifice may be stupidity at times. i feel that sometimes my sacrifices are genuine and at times.. you guessed it, are sacrifices-turned-supidity.

and i feel that i'm currently BSing right now coz i'm mildly thinking straight. bahhh.
body temperature reached 37.9degrees Celcius. bleahs. i'm off.

**

and so im back to school this morning.
came back to school yesterday afternoon for maths test.and gpa.and for some other reasons.heh.
after bearing with my harry-potter specs for a few days, i got my new specs last night!
finally, no more blurred vision(: and so my new red-and-white specs made its debut to school this morning along with a red shirt, red hairband, red socks and red shoelaces and i'm so super red this morning and i love it. haha.
my bro brought back the bike after... a few weeks it was hidden at his friend's house.
i got a C for my MT A level exam. hurray.
i failed my physics retest. double hurray.

that's about it i guess.

``Let it all crash down
When it ends it begins with you
I'm gonna learn every time you do

great mornings give me a great start to the day(:

2007-03-01T10:45:00.000+08:00

my gc's back! hahah.
God knows how estatic i was at that moment of time when i found out my gc was not stolen but i left it in the lab instead. im such a total noob! hahahaaa.

--

im still me. but a lil' better.
thanks to all listening ears(:

to alex[is]: rmbr what i said in lt3 this morning. cheer up(:

``don't make simple things complicated; make complicated things simple``
- said mr TeddyBear-boulder to me

hurray to me

2007-02-27T09:08:00.000+08:00

for being careless and forgetful.
and for losing the most expensive calculator that i've ever come across.
yepp.the graphic calculator.
and my maths test is just around the corner. bleahs.
so many tests coming up!
---

i guess im kinda coping with it.
but im still not talking to them properly yet.
and it irks me when, at certain times i feel like going online all of a sudden and i know i cant.

----

i know one day, all our scars will disappear, like the stars at dawn
and all of our pain, will fade away when morning comes
and on that day when we look backwards we will see, that everything is changed
and all of our trials, will be as milestones on the way
and as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart
and there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends
on that day all of the scales will swing to set all the wrongs to right
all of our tears, and all of our fears will take to flight
but until then all of our scars will still remain, but we've learned that if we'll
open the wounds and share them then soon they start to heal
as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart
and there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends
we must see that every scar is a bridge, and as long as we live
we must open up these wounds
when some one stands in your shoes and will shed his own blood
there's no greater love. we must open up our wounds
---

"i like you. i can like you can't i? you don't have to like me."
-from a book

i desire

2007-02-26T12:13:00.001+08:00

311206
Me: well
its up to individuals

Babe: hahah
yeahh..
): cheeeerrrr up.
haha

Me: haha
no worries la

Babe: dun worry.
u have me (:
and chocolates

Me: haha
yes
tnx babe!

------

120107
Richie: time is the best healer
: D
its true
haha

Me: YUPP
time heals everything

-----

170107
Me: u knw that online offline thingy u did for public on new year?
hw'd u do it???

Husni: uh
status
appear offline
thn online
thn off
thn on
thn off
thn on
thn off
thn on
thn off
thn on
thn off

Me: okay okay

Husni: lol

Me:
LOL
I get the msg
hahaha

-----

170207
Me: ppl irritate me and i get pissed off easily

thiha: which ass irritate u?
i take care of him for u
tell me
XD

Me: haha

-----

010207
9:26:41 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
g tukar nick kw

9:26:52 PM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ boulder.batu.pebbLe!
asl lak?

9:26:55 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
kepale batu granite cement limestone marble

9:26:59 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
=D

9:26:59 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
haha

9:27:00 PM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ boulder.batu.pebbLe!
LOL

9:27:02 PM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ boulder.batu.pebbLe!
hahahhaha!

9:27:06 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
aku selalu ckp kwn aku gituk

9:27:10 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
kalau diorg degil

-----

020107
1:04:37 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
i got alot of cravings now la

1:04:42 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
awww

1:04:51 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
i gt alot of cravings but no cash

1:04:53 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
ahahaha

1:05:22 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
craving for brownie from secret recipe, caramel ice blended frm starbucks, oreo cheesecake frm cafe galilee

1:05:31 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
cadbury chocolate

1:05:40 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
just had cadbury just nw

1:05:53 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
haha

1:06:02 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
i had it ytd n de day b4

1:06:23 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
nw that uve said it, i feel like getting iced blended mocha frm starbucks, that brownie from coffee bean and cookis from famous amos

1:06:29 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
hahha

1:06:31 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
eh same!

1:06:37 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
ahh... famous amos!

1:06:39 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
smlm aku mkn cadbury tuu tk stop sey

1:06:44 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
oh

1:07:00 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
and that chocolate muffin from coffee bean too!!!

1:07:19 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
n chocolate waffle frm prima deli

1:07:36 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
AHH YESSS

1:07:55 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
and oh, that chocolate thingy from jollybean

1:08:13 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
*drools*

1:08:30 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
wahaha

1:08:39 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
pagi2 buta cravings eh

1:08:58 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
wahaha

1:09:01 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
yalor!

1:10:08 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
chocolate

1:10:12 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
merci chocs

1:10:22 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
haagen dazs

1:10:22 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
belgian chocs!!!

1:10:31 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
HAHA

1:10:37 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
was abt to say sth like that!

1:11:15 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
woah... i still can feel the insides of the belgian choc flowing out right after i put the choc in my mouth

1:11:20 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
heavenly babey!!!!

1:12:17 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
SHHHH

1:12:18 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
lol

>>and those are the pleasures of life which i cant help but reminiscing.
and they are what that keeps me smiling at home.

---

its what i do almost every day.

hell for holiday.

2007-02-21T09:15:00.000+08:00

the past few days had been my days of depression.
could have been for you too if you were in my shoes.

[written on 170206]
you say i'm emotionlesss? hurhur.

they make me insecure. threatening to strip off the freedom of me using this dear old com of mine. the freedom of using the internet totally.
is this a retribution for me? for not doing all that they want me to?
is this what im supposed to be getting? after all that bullying and jokes-that-are-funny-to-them-but-not-to-me?
damndamndamn. im tired of living.
in the house that is.

chatting with my friends was my only way to stop thinking of my stupid problem. i feel you are the only one who cares to listen for now. you once said something like, "i'd rather listen to other people's problems". and yes, the past days and weeks, even months, you have been a great listener, a great help at times. and i'm sure you know who you are. talking is you is like being in a theraupatic session. it kinda calms me down. i feel the sincerity when you offer your listening ear, but i can't help wondering all of a sudden- have you ever had this oh-no-here-she-goes-again feeling? it applies to all my friends too, when i confide in them. i cant help wondering this way. im sorry for my insecurities.
nevertheless, i really appreciate for all the listening ears i've gotten. especially yours.

i'm afraid. no more letting it out typewritten. no more frequent blogs and bloghopping.
i badly need someone to listen to my cries now.
the right person.

'fading hope'? my hope is fading, alright.
and no worries, it's no sad case. for my own good.

*****

[180207]
fuckfuckfuck.
the Net is like my lifeline.
and they're taking it away from me.
it fucking hurts when you said that.
AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGH!!!!! PFFFFFFFFTT !#$%^&*

i feel depressed='(
i miss confiding. i miss letting it out.
to the right person. to the right person.
please don't get bored with me for now.

******

[190207]
i dont see the purpose in having a family gathering, when not all the families went. moreover it was raining in the afternoon.
so did i enjoy it? not really. i went back to my old self the moment i came back home.

to them, to some even, this may not be a big deal.to me, it IS.

i really miss chatting. with all my friends. with my 'rocks'. with fizahK. with thiha.
especially with sak. on our last chat she was telling me about moving to m'sia to continue her studies there instead.
for a computer addict like me, this sucks big time.
='(

^we'll die if our wings dont grow at all.^
and so this song kept me company for the whole night.

//staring at the blank screen, wishing that it wouldnt affect me so badly.
im sorry. i tried.

*****

[200207]
i keep having this funny feeling.. like- my mind goes, "i can't wait to go online tonight and chat with so-and-so" or "i think i'm gonna go bloghop/friendster-hop later" and moments later it'll go "eff, i can never do it."

i dunno why the fuck i'm still brooding over this.
i'm clueless to why i'm not dried up of tears yet. my eyes feel sore. umm.

kuyaGino still has that song to be sent to me.
syafiq has yet to send me that picture.
i have yet to send someone a file which needs to be printed.
i still have yet to continue my convo with sak.
i dunno where myself went to.

i've lost quite some stuffs already.
i wonder if i'll lose them.
but at the same time i feel embarassed to ask help from them.
idunnowhattodo..
='(

*****

today [210207]
i cant help it.
everytime i think about it, it'll almost bring me to tears.
i dunno how im gonna get over this.

glad you know it's hard. thank you for understanding its not gonna be easy for me to cope with this.

i'm just waiting for the time when i can accept the reality.

come on, Muz. move on.

2007-02-17T01:18:00.000+08:00

to be understood by the closer ones.
and the smart ones too, maybe.

people always say when there's no one else in the world to back you up, they are the only ones who will be by your side.i wonder how true it is.

for all the the plus points, there are definitely some minus points every day.
at least, it happens in my life. today was no exception.
thanks ain for the movie treat(:
thanks fizahK and shimah for the company(:

~ fine, im not one of yours.
dammmn it hurts.
i try to convince myself they're just little jokes. but it still fucking hurts.
blame me for being oversensitive.
or perhaps it's simply pilih kasih.
i wonder why i even bother to dine out.~

to you it may sound normal and it's just "asking questions". to me it's called "not realising that you have crossed the line and intrude in others' private life just to satisfy your curiosity"
different people have different perspectives over different issues that happen in different lives.
i suddenly remembered an incident- he was the subject of the joke. and he kept mum after that, when we were still laughing about it. till now i still think we went kinda overboard and i'm sorry for that.
what may seem as a normal joke to you may be seen as an over-the-limit joke to the other party. i wonder if you yourself realise that on certain times, people whom you question or made fun of felt uneasy. same like asking questions. sometimes we just have to repect the other side's decision
of not telling stuffs that are considered as open issues to you but a private one to them.

i feel we are not who we used to be anymore.

---

i'll drive away unnecessary feelings.
let us continue to be friends(:

a day of delight and doom at night.

2007-02-15T10:35:00.000+08:00

Yesterdayy. friendship day(: brownies for the s10 girls, chocs-and-sweets packages for the s10 guys, my darlingss Makneneks&Pakdatuks, Shye[bigteddy boulder!], Husni[BATU:P],Deeanah, Nic, Alex, Kanch and Suteng.
Didnt expect anything from anyone though. Still, i received- belgian choc from Ain, choc pie(or was it muffin?) from Yantee, FamousAmos cookies from MdmAzah[totally unexpected! lol],chocs from NanaBuggy, sweets from Kaiting, MnMs from SiokHui, lollies from Anisa & Wenlin, more chocs from Huiqi, and Hershey's from Suteng. LOTSA THANKS PEEPS!

So it was a day of delight and doom at night.
bashed up. fucked up.

--

And i got Thiha a Hershey's bar today. with him, yesterday we had a funny chat on msn.
haha. thanks loads dude, really appreciate it(:

random: im hungry now. off to eat.

(:

2007-02-13T17:00:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION TO MY DEAREST 06S10, MORNING PEEPS AND MAKENENKS & PAKDATUKS-
TOMORROW'S FRIENDSHIP DAY!
lol.

sudden random

2007-02-13T09:15:00.000+08:00

all of a sudden i miss fizahK. haha. it's as if it's been a looong time since i laughed with her. heh.
to her--
gerl!! takecare!
and if u need a listening ear, im still alive here aite! *HUGE HUGS* *MUACKX* smile dearie!(:

to the rest of the people involved in Chingay--
i know you guys are uber tired.. but rest well aite, people? hope to see you there!

what karo wrote on her blog, i so agree with her. haha.

130207- eight months one day. and its kinda dead now.
isn't it what u silently wish for, Muz?
yea, come to think of it, i half-wished for it.
it's distinct. like a silent count in my head.
damn i cant NOT think bout it.

*don't frown, coz u never know when someone may fall in love with your smile*
i dont exactly follow that. haha.

2007-02-11T12:26:00.000+08:00

[110207] again
damn. the fourth time.
issit just me, or are they trying to send me a message or something?

i think it's just me. maybe i should, just, forget about keeping tracks of them and treat it as if it's normal.

to me-
stop denying your own feelings.

---

[100207] and i admit i'm one.

i realise life isn't all about enjoying. it's always the case where you experiences some downs after the ups of life. for those luckier ones, they experience more ups. for those miraculous ones, they have the lucky charm with them almost every time. but that's probable. isn't it? considering that life's never fair.

i admit i'm a huge fan of complaining. bigteddy once joked, " i think you should go make a book and name it 'The Book of Complains'." haha. everyone complains; who doesn't? it's just whether it's excessive or not. i admit, sometimes i go beyond the line. but on other times, i keep myself mum. i'm sorry to whoever's ears got burnt due to my rants.
perhaps i should buy myself a punching bag.

i admit i'm sensitive. some things that may be jokes to others can hurt me, though at times i don't show it. once there was a prank made on me, and i just started spilling tears coz it hurt at that moment. hahah. come to think of it, i feel so silly. but being more mature now, i do laugh along at certain funny stuffs and lil' jokes which i never laughed at before, coz i believe they don't harm. and i'm happy coz i've learnt to take jokes and be more lighthearted.
and i admit i'm paranoid at times. haha.

an attention seeker, yes i am. i admit. sometimes i get grumpy coz i lack attention. ahahah. for God-knows-what reasons.
but i dislike crowds at times.haha.
and i admit, i get green over loving couples. haha. it made me wonder why almost all the good guys whom i meet are taken. haha. but i do wish for the best for them. especially that newest one in my clan.. you know who you are, turtle! [pipi!! lolx](:
and so i admit i wanna feel loved. like, a bestie or maybe a special one who'd be there for me when i need him.(or her. generalised.)a someone who would make rotten lil things about life seem okay. and a someone who'd say "i'll be there for you" and mean it.
it will come by, just not the time yet(:
but i'm thankful, really, that i do have friends who care. Thank you, God. for the wonderful friends.
it just gets lonely at times.

i admit i get very angry easily. i can be irrational and unreasonable when i'm angry. yea, i do things impulsively at times. only when i realise my mistake, it'll be too late. what's done cannot be undone. i'm sorry to everyone who was once my victim before.

oops.
i think i admit too much.

2007-02-08T21:09:00.000+08:00

finally revelation is over.
no more sleeping at 3am again for now. haha.
random: i love that bunch of balloons placed at the centre of the hall(:
i'll post that pic when i geddit.

drawn by goodfriend huzaifah.

to karo--

TAKE CARE AND STAY HAPPY AITE? I MISS UR HYPENESS!! I MISS UR SMILE!! HEARTS U!!((:

the day when the clouds were beautiful.

to you--

it IS about me.

but judging by your attitude towards me, i refuse to believe it's true.

unless i hear it from you yourself.

because of YOU, im gonna say this again:

some guys suck.

i happen to be me.

really- SOME.

and i'm so wasting my time now

2007-02-06T09:42:00.000+08:00

i can't think straight.

my head hurts.

tired.

sleepy.

in the school library.
i have my maths tutorial infront of me
and i'm wasting my time here.

i have issues to talk about.
they play in my head. but i'm not so smart as to put them into words.

one day maybe.
or maybe it won't come by at all.

``and will you tell of your friends
you've got your gun to my head

it's monday

2007-02-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

it was the third time in the weekend.
and it happened consecutively. one weekend after another.
though its bliss for a moment, its annoying.
im hating it coz its making me feel lousy. its making my feelings sink deeper into something that i know i can never own.

someone, rather.

get real, Muz.

drained out from all the activities last week. and more are coming up this week.
today itself we had 2.4km run for pc. for the freaking third time.
i know its for our own good.. but thats three times in consecutive pc lessons!
can i stop schooling for a moment?
fat hope.

"i'll be there for you."
hurhur.

what a week

2007-02-04T20:16:00.000+08:00

LoveFiesta!

haha. i can still feel the exhaustion from the past few days.
the week's been a very very packed one; preparation for love fiesta, studied for physics, bladibla.
the best was a record-breaking 14 rounds around the track in total for pc this week. lol.

ok. back to loveFiesta.
it was simply superb! so much food- from chicken rice to brownies to fondues to chocolate balls to many many many more!! heh ><
i escorted my friends to and fro and roamed around most of the time, instead of tending to my games stall. haha. sorry karo! =P
thank you to zaid(the manjen wannabe.lol), amoz, ameera and iLham for coming down to my school!! (: (: (:
oh. mum & sis came down too.
syafiq's silat performance group were greattt! and so were the muttonballs. their performance had the biggest crowd. hahaha.
and not forgetting my one of the best times of the day was laughing hysterically at shai and husni and his bro's voices. they went around the games area, stole balloons, sucked the helium gas and started talking. helium+ their voice= cartoon voices! hahaha. those jokers made my day really(:
we made a profit!! haha. didnt expect it though. thanks lotsa to ahmad adrian[a] desiree david chinhua kuinoi sathish and especially the stall ic karo[the cute! ahahakz] for being part of the games stall! and to mr fong too or helping out in promoting the game around the school!

and so i simply knocked out at 10 yesterday. heh.

had haflah (prize giving ceremony) at my mosque in the morning today.
i wonder if i should continue madrasah.. hmm..

im supposed to be studying for maths test tomorrow! heh.

``Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide``

2007-01-30T21:06:00.000+08:00

280107 at JE Library__

---

as far i as can remember, today's physics lesson was the only one that i paid close attention in. haha.

anw, HEPI 18th BDAE EVA AND EVIIIIII!!!!!

hope u guys had a wonderfulll superbly beautiful bdae!((:

hoping that those little words and actions would help.

trivias of the monday bleahs

2007-01-29T20:43:00.001+08:00

::silly me thought i left my pouch at home, only to find it deep inside my bag when i went back home to look for it -->ended up reaching schhol later than usual--> lesser time spent with morning peeps.
::2.4km run for PC. bleahx.
::kuinoi was singing jt's 'sexy back' by replacing 'sexy' to 'muzai'.. so it went "im bringing muzai back... YEAH!" haha=)
::change of plans. sucky.
::had laugh-y moments with Cicak, Yantee, Syafiq and Ilyas. haha.
::managed to control my food intake today.
::failed my chem test on organic. unexpected.
::adrian was being an asshole in chem class.
::sienmae tried to cheer me up by giving smiles on my paper(:
::fizahK brightened me up with her smses during malay class. wakaka.
ps: fizah! aku tak cuci mata ah. tak ramai.. heh ;p
::almost met with an accident when i was going home on a motorcycle.. [almost fell off the motorcycle..*shivers*]

-It's too late to take this back
This accidental exit-

trivias of the monday bleahs

2007-01-29T20:43:00.000+08:00

dreams

2007-01-28T13:52:00.000+08:00

that was the second distinct one there.
perhaps it was because you're the last person i talked to before i turned in yesterday.
hmm.. i think that's a logical reason. haha.

part of it showed you were smiling and laughing.
my point: umm.. you were a happy kid? haha.

---

random: i'm addicted to silhouette of a life by 10 years(=

it's okay to be pissed once in a while. everyone has his or her own bad and unlucky days.
but there IS definitely something wrong when she's angsty ALL the time.
she can't help it.
she's very tired of being down.
she tries her best to smile she herself doesnt like being angry all the time.
she tries ot to depend on her friends too much. she herself has her own insecurities. she knows some are tired of seeing her behaving this way. but she really can't help.
she's expressive.
she's thankful for all the superb times, smiles and support that she has gotten from everyone who has given it to her.
she hopes they'll continue to do it.
coz she definitely can't survive alone for sure.
and she wants them to know she loves them from the bottom of her heart.
(:

i'd never feel alone again with you by my side
you're the one, and in you i confide

say what??

2007-01-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

---

school's been ok i think. haha.
its not exactly boring nor its superduper fun.
it gets fun when ure laughing with ur friend.
it gets boring when it comes to gp or physics. heh.

phyics test next thursday. the conditions that they give ("if you fail the test, u will have to retake it again and again until you pass") doesnt seem to gimme the jitters or anything.
i know nuts about gravitation or simple harmonic motion(shm).
im prepared to fail.

went to stadium with nawa and her bro just now. found out tix were sold out earlier on, but we went to try our luck anyway. made a trip down to jalan besar stadium to see our luck but we didnt get any. heh.
expected- tickets were REALLY sold out. unexpected- nawa's elder bro managed to get three tix at the very last minute. then Cikgu and FizahCicak fetched us from lavender. after loads of cursing, tons of vulgarities and reaching to the point the fuel meter almost reached zero, we reached the national stadium. but.. since there were only three tix, enough for nawa and her siblings, Cicak cikgu and me decided to head home after coz Cikgu's car was parked infront of this another car. and for me, i dont see the point of staying coz i dunno when we could crash the entrance.

things dont always go your way. hahaha.

i was offered to be an extra for this drama that will be released in feb. the filming was supposedly today but it was pushed to tomorrow. and i already promised a friend to help her out in somehting tomorrow.
so.. yea, i had to turn down the offer. kinda disappointed. but.. haha.. maybe its just not my rezeki yet.

see?? things simply dont always go your way. haha.

and yes, luck never gives, it only lends.

lol. God knows how many TIMES i said that in my blog. haha.

it seems so quiet now.

i cant stop

2007-01-24T22:17:00.000+08:00

some stuffs

2007-01-23T21:48:00.000+08:00

Damn, im not gonna bore myself and others with how my day went today.
Here are some pictures that i found from the Net.:--

calvin and hobbes strip! i lurve this particualr strip. perhaps, coz it kinda reflect the kind of life that i myself go through.. (sorry if its too small to be readable. heh)

aint he cute?? (:

----

this one? haha. not from the Net, but it was exclusively from my friend Huzai, who claimed that he has good photography skills (and i went, "uhh.. yea okayy..." haha.. )

cool ey? haha.

thats it for tonight. im off--//

empty promises, emptiness, three years and one-sided heartbreak

2007-01-22T21:08:00.000+08:00

I FEEL LIKE THE SILLIEST GIRL ANYONE COULD EVER MEET.
I FEEL LIKE THE MOST STUPID GIRL ANYONE COULD EVER SEE.
I FEEL LIKE...... PFFFFT.

i wasnt supposed to even feel THAT way but i led myself on.
allowing my feelings to go astray. and let sorrow sank deep in me.

empty promises was what i made to myself when i said im not going to be emotionally attached to anyone anymore from now onwards.
one-sided heartbreak was the result for keeping everything in me and not telling you for fear of affecting the friendship which, i felt, is just starting to bloom after three years.
three years.

yay. someone just made me cry.

what the hell...?
first you said you dont want to be attached or be in a relationship for now, and the next moment you're telling me you're trying to woo the girl back??
the girl who ditched you?

suit yourself la.
i can only pray for the best, for your saturday plans,
and for you and her if your plan worked.

i feel so empty and deprived.

not even the pics could make me smile.

2007-01-22T17:21:00.000+08:00

200107 @ VivoCity__

----------------------------

pc wasnt so bad today.
maths lecture was okay.
physics practical was okay too. have an practical assignment due tomorrow.
a chem tutorial to complete.
mother tongue- i wished they were in the same class as me. sigh=(
CONCLUSION: it was just another MON-otonous-DAY.

"you should be happy today is a monday! why? because.. friday is coming!"
-mr leow

*diao*.

--

"JUNE=PIMP
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Not easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains."

Most of them are sooooo.. me. Haha.

---

You're nice, really(:
i hope you wont stop treating me the way you are now.

and i hope it will go away soon.

it will, it will...

=(

2007-01-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

200107 Saturday--
Youth Rocks! COncert at Vivo was SUPERRRRRRRB!! sooo many perofrmers! to mention some, there was..

::Merah, the band who got popular through the song 'Cintaku'
:: Chiko!! The forever-cute finalist from Anugerah '05!
::Fauzie Laily, the 2nd runner up in Anugerah '05
:: HyrulAnuar! The CHAMP of Anugerah '05!!

and the best thing was, i got to see them upclose! REAL upclose! haha..

GARDEN OF EVE rawks! MUTTON BALLS RAWK!
but.. sigh... my greatest biggest APOLOGIES to Nawa and all MuttonbaLLers... i accidentally deleted the vid that Nawa took during the performance.. sowie peeps=(

cheering, mass dancing, camwhoring!

-----

nothing much happened today.
tomorrow's a school day.
bleahx. stating of the obvious.

stupid dream it was.
and yes, this particular paragraph is about u. haha.
honestly, i wished it didnt dream about it.

everytime i have a distinct dream, i'll be thinking about it for a day before i get over it.haha. stupid, yes?

---
i wished i could be loved. at these kind of moments i just feel desperate to have someone to be by my side, holding my hands.but... it was these kinds of moment too that im trying to appease my heart to be patient coz its simply not the time for me yet.

at least, i still have God.

Ahh one more thing. Here's an aknowledgement to my dearest rawker friend Ahmad Huzaifah Bin Firdaus. For having been listening to all my woes for today and maybe for the past days.
I know you WONT be reading this, but yea, aku dah ckp aku akan letak nama kau. hahah.

fluctuations of feelings swept in me.
bleahs.

between boredom boring bored

2007-01-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

an edited convo a moment ago~

muz: boredom drives me crazyyyyyyyyyyyy
husni: LOL. boredom makes me bored. LOL
muz: ahaha! rhetorical. boredom bores me.
husni: LOL . im bored of boredom
muz: being bored is boring
husni: boring gets boring after some time
muz: ahaha. ok this is crazy..

hahaha. rhetorical stuffs really.
but hey, i enjoyed myself! lol.

randomness

2007-01-19T18:48:00.000+08:00

~160107 in the bus on the way home after my mugging session and 'street-dining' with her and shimah

thank God, i get to blog again.
after sooooooo many desperate tries.
i was like thinking, "maybe i should go to FizahK's blog, and click the Blogger link, try my luck and see whether i can blog."
And yes, for the second time, it worked. Haha.
Issit just coincidental, or do i really find luck at FizahK's blog?? Lolx.
FIZAH, YOU MUST READ THIS! lol.

Luck never gives; it only lends.
Funny as it may sound, i think its true.

So many things i wanna say, i dont even know where to start.

chem test on organic chem today. left blank on some questions. i think a borderline pass is waiting for me. went home early. thought of sleeping, but i couldnt. so i went back to school for movie screenings. *the corpse bride* and *just my luck* were on the list. *just my luck* was superb(:

gp was ok yesterday. we watched *clone ranger*, about cloning, test tube babies, and more interesting stuffs that was.. well, interesting. we went back to class 20 minutes before lesson ended. and all the time mr goon raised his voice, practically shouting. and yet he asked, "am i too loud? i have to shout coz i cant really hear myself due to some hearing problems. but i'll be fine after a few days.." umm, ooo...kay. well, take care then, mr goon. i hope that your hearing comes back soon.
during pc, we ran, did pullups, pumping and sprints.. now my thighs and my arms hurt. ow..

i cant believe my sister can be vulgur too. tsk2.
she must have gotten it from me.
im trying hard not to say too much vulgarities now =X

its been wet weather for the past few days. the past week even.
the air's been cool.
i like it.

have i said before, that i like my new timetable? haha.

only three knew it. three. i dont feel like telling everyone.
damn, issit even meant to be spread..?? i mean, its not even juicy news!
and even I MYSELF am not sure whether its REALLY TRULY true.
sigh. let time reveal the real situation.
for now, im kept in confusion.
and im sorry dude, after all that advices, im still staying on to my position here, not making any move.
im stubborn headed, i know, but.. sorry.. its really not me to do what you told me to...
shut me off when i exceed the limit of telling things to you.

it felt great to be able to talk to him like we're some ol' friends. he was the first person whom i told, though it wasnt in details. it just happened that he was there when i needed someone to talk to.
though sometimes the things that had been discussed were not exactly my favourites, it somehow brought me closer to him. like me, he's just one confused kid who is trying to figure things out.
i was tempted to tell him how i feel. and i almost said it. ALMOST.
maybe next time.
when can i ever see you again..??

---

``missing you like i always do
wonder if u feel the same way too
but i know things are just
what they're meant to be
so let time wake me up
from my fantasy
and snap me back to reality
though time and again i will still be
thinking of the ever-living fantasy

2007-01-15T18:38:00.000+08:00

Yesterdayy__

Yupp. U saw it. For more info, u can go to FizahK's blog. Haha.

--
Today__
daily sch routine. pc, maths lecture, physics practical, chem tutorial, mt cultural lesson.
for pc, we ran one round for warmup and had 2.4km training. so tiring sey.
thats bout it. im off to study~

will u believe me if i say i miss u?
will u believe me if i say its true?
will u say the same thing back to me?
will u give a heck and pretend u don't see?

what's wrong..?

2007-01-14T07:03:00.000+08:00

despite countless tries, i couldnt sign in to MSN at all yesterday after i came back home from school and library.
with the exception of the fact that i did sign in early in the morning, before school.
and so i slept at 8pm yesterday.
haha. sorry fizah, for not replying to any of your messages. heh.

its been a few days of papers and books and emoism and God-knows-what and finally its weekend.
and today is sunday. yay.

gee im talking like there's no school tomorrow. haha.

--

they say ignorance is bliss.
sometimes, on certain situations, it's very true.

its the sad truth that i have to face.
cmon muZz, look that the bright side of things. at least it's better than no friendship, right? at least it's better than a stagnant friendship.
ok, maybe things are not so down after all.

you once wrote this for me. well... not directly for me, but it was upon my request that you changed your nickname(on MSN) to this__
``lost today
im not okay
heartbreak
a fake smile
and so long goodbye``

and now im writing this to you from me__
**smile for today
you're gonna be okay
if you ever need me
i'll be there for you
'til you pull this through**

there is a low probability that you're reading this.
but should you ever read it...
i just hope you wont stop contacting me...
oh well. i'll leave it for now.

pics of ogl camp and orientation1 !!(:

2007-01-12T18:59:00.000+08:00

during ogl camp__

spongebob! haha:)

---

us the f3 ogls
---

last day of camp(060107)__

og12 in hall.

---

the senior sinkuan(: thanks for helping out!

---

heiwai the haywire. hahax. he handled the food for the campers in og12. thanks loadz yea=)
--- bestie anisa(=
---
og12.
---

my dearest og12 girls=)

---

kyson the shy kid. haha. of all the campers that i contacted, he was the first camper who left me a good impression after i called him.

---

keith the outspoken one. the other camper who left me the good impression after i called him(:

---

last two pics that we took before dismissing them. og12 rawks!=D

---

done by richie the friendly one.who always accompany me in msn. lolx. go richie! hahahax.

----------

Firstly, thank God i can access blogger once again after a looong time. fyi, yesterday's entry was posted by syafiq, who crashed my account and help me publish. yay. haha. thanks alot syafiq!

todayy~ went to the library for a super-short mugging session.then hung out with fizahK aim mira and shimah. they wanted to get kika's prezzie. so after getting the prezzie, we walked walked around.

decided to head home early.

so here i am since 5.30pm.

u're making me confusedd`

2007-01-11T20:05:00.000+08:00

TUESDAY 090107--
during gp lesson..

huangshen entered class late.

teacher to huangshen: ive never seen u around before.. is this the first time im seeing you..?
hunagshen: (silent)
teacher: lets try that again. is this the first time im seeing you?
huangshen: (pauses) huh..?
(the whole class laughed)
teacher: lets try that again. is this the first time im seeing you?
huangshen: err.. yes.
teacher: (another qsn)
huangshen: HUH..?
(WHOLE CLASS LAUGHED AGAIN)

LOL. darn funny la.

after school i had og dinner at imm banquet.for ogls only me zalena and ilyas attended. nadya and fadillah tagged along. it was great basically. then after lunch everyone went off except me keith cassandra yonghao timothy lihwei, zalena and nadya- both went off around 15 min after the rest left. then we hung out at the children's playground. i thought we made alot of noise- either that or someone complained, coz the security guard came after we finished two rounds of 'obstacle race', telling us not to climbaround those.. things (lol) coz we may be too heavy. haha. so we decided to sit down. and had story telling sessions. we only headed off to home at around 7. haha.
thanks for the fun peeps(:

---

WEDNESDAY 100107--
cca day. didnt stay around for long though. after school ended, went to Lot1 with fizahK to get some.... stuffs. heh. then we went to McD to cancel out on one of the cravings- McD's HOT FUDGE SUNDAE! lolx. and of course, another heart to heart talk plus a session of bitching. haha.

then went back to school to watch some rugby. haha.
then followed nawa shila and mira for some stationery-shopping.
then went home.

that was one hell of a long talk we had. it made me feel like i've known you for years. like we've been close friends since forever.
i felt i knew so much today.
but hey, why the heck what that lie for sey?

i still believe its impossible between us. so allow me to bury these feelings in my heart til the time comes for me to say it. perhaps if its meant to be, then i'll keep this in me forever.
at least for now, im grateful we still talk to each other. who cares if its only msn? thank yopu, God for giving me the opportunity to have a heart-to-heart talk with him. and thank you, my friend, for willing to share stuffs with me, although u lied to me initially. im just glad u let it out.

---

THURSDAY (TODAY)--
it was seriously some shitty day for me. bad hair day, only one break, bladibla....

after that break i had physics tutorial. then geog tutorial. both 1.5 hr. then for geog i had to take new notes, being the geog rep. so i went to the other class, the lit class (coz the treasurer takes lit) to borrow class fund. but treasurer didnt bring the class money. so the class rep took initiative and took out her own money. then the lit teacher went- "im having a lesson now. can u ask from other people in ur class who are free?" and in my heart i cursed "wtf? everyone in my class having lesson nw la!"
putting that incident aside, i went to the printing room, and asked for geog notes. it turned out that the printing room aunty thought my class have only 2 people taking geog, when there are TEN- 2 h2 students and 8 h1 students. and i took 5-10 min settling the technical error before she told me that the printing of the notes will take 20 minutes. arghh.

and that moment i was on the verge of crying.

so i waited for 20minutes before taking the notes and went back to class.

had pc after geog- in total, we ran 4 rounds around the tracks and did pull ups.
aiming to relieve my stress, i went to the gym and workout on the treadmill for 30minutes after pc.
and walked home for another 30minutes.
so yes, im quite drained out now.

and so lessons officially starts today`

2007-01-08T21:22:00.000+08:00

during breaktime...

my parrot named keith. hahah><

went jp and had dinner with two of my og mates- vivian and kyson- along with some other peeps whom were kyson's buddies. then went home.

i cant even bear to think of the time when my campers will have to leave jjc=(

`i dont wanna lag behind

JJC Orientation o1/ The aLcHemy of Life

2007-01-07T16:45:00.000+08:00

Camp Day 1--
subject registration. icebreaker games. mass dance. lunch. og time. afternoon games. wash up. dinner. song-singing session. night games. supper. lights out.

some of the campers went rara-ing already. esp that vivian and her GESSians. hahah.
it was great to see the campers moved to another level from what they gave during admin day one=)

every day there are choices we must make
every day there are challenges we must face
but come what may
dont turn away
just seize the day
stand up tall and say
i wanna be the best that i can be
and live my live with strength and dignity
i may stumble and fall
but if i give it my all
then i stand up tall and say
that i want to be the best that i can be

--

Camp day 2-morning pt. breakfast. telematch. mass dance. lunch. kinetic warfare. washup. dinner. jj nite. supper.

it was truly great to see how my og moved to another higher level. they showed initiative. they cheered along. for those who didnt, they clapped along. technical glitches in kinetic warfare didnt really bring me down much, coz by jjnite, i was back in action although the pain in my leg didnt go away. i smiled along as i saw their smiles, sang along as i saw them enjoying themselves. it was a moment worth sacrificing for.

tonight we remember
the times that we spent here
the joys and the laughter that we shared
tonight we cherish
the moments spent together
because it's the only time we have
look at us and see our smiles
this is where we all belong
i remember the times we spent together
until my last december
tonight

after sending the girls to their sleeping room, i went crashing the guys' room. haha. had a small story telling session with them before ogl's debrief.
slept at 3+ am in the canteen while making the campers' gift. hahaa.

---

Camp day 3--breakfast. e-web.
e-web was supposed to be emotional. but my og was too unique that laughter was in the air most of the time.

more song singing.

Took my hand
Touched my heart
Held me close
You were always there
By my side
Night and day
Through it all
Baby come what may

Swept away on a wave of emotion
Overcaught in the eye of the storm
And whenever you smile
I can hardly believe that you're mine
Believe that you're mine

This love is unbreakable
It's unmistakeable
And each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
A feeling my heart just can't deny
Each time I look in your eyes
Oh baby, I know why
This love is unbreakable

Shared the laughter
Shared the tears
We both know
We'll go on from here
Cause together we are strong
In my arms
That's where you belong

I've been touched by the hands of an angel
I've been blessed by the power of love
And whenever you smile
I can hardly believe that you're mine

This love is unbreakable
It's unmistakeable
Each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
Afeeling my heart just can't deny
Each time you whisper my name
Oh baby, I know why

This love is unbreakable
Through fire and flame
When all this over
Our love still remains

This love is unbreakable
It's unmistakeable
And each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
A feeling my heart just can't deny
Each time you whisper my name
Oh baby, I know why
Cause each time I look in your eyes
Oh baby, I know why
This love is unbreakable

i teared. alot.

had a short period of og time before dismissing them.
and that was it. the end of camp.

frankly, i dunno how long the og can last. but i hope i will still be in contact with them. most of them at least.the bonds created will always be there, even if they lose contact with one another.
thank you guys, especially GESSians for the memories=) thanks to the rest of the og peeps for smiling, coz it was their smiles, really, that would make us OGLs happy at the end of the day. of course, the OGLs- ilyas, zalena, anisa, heiwai and waiyee- were a helpful bunch of peeps too. coz without them and their support, i cant bear to think how the og will turn out to be.

--

had a 7-10pm nap yesterday. and slept again from 12am to 12pm today. guessed it was for two weeks of exhaustion. haha. still feeling tired now, but smiling.

i'll put up the pics as soon as i get them=)

school tmr. yippee.

`og12/ f3 for life.
thats why twelve is special number(:

2007-01-03T23:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday-

SENTOSA WAS SUPERB. MY GREATEST THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO ATTENDED- KAK FIZA, KAK YATI, LIYANA, RUSY, IZAN, YANI, KAK FEEQAH, USAMAH, HASSAN, HAZIM, KHALIQ. FARHAD, HAKEEM, BRO WAN AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, FIR WHO THOUGHT OF THE TRIP[WELL U CAN SAY HE ORGANISED IT TOO].

mandi laut. loadz of food [rusy's mee goreng, san's fried rice, hotdog buns, tidbits, nuggets and popcorn chicken and more]. soccer with the guys. fun and laughter. skyride and luge. walking from sentosa's arrival centre all the way to vivo. dinner at harbourfront.

wat more can i ask for?

thank you God for giving me that moment of happiness with the bunch of friends.

MORE THANKS TO FIR FOR THE DRINK TREAT, KAK FIZA FOR THE SKYRIDE TREAT AND IZAN FOR THE ICED-LONGAN TREAT=D

it was a great way to mark the official end of my holidays..

oh wait a minute, was there even a holiday in the first place? haha..

---

Today-

First admin day. As expected, initially the juniors were oh-so-dead-oh-so-boring. But with our positive attitude, we managed to liven up the mood and by the end of the day(6+pm) they improved in terms of their attitude.

Lucky for my OG, some of the J1s are naturally enthusiastic peeps, and i see that they are potential OGLs for the O2 camp.

For the Malay intakers, hmm.. asal sikit orang je sey.. sedih ku lihat.. i hope there'll be more in the 2nd intake.

We ended much later than what it was supposed to be. And after their debrief we had debrief for the OGLs [us]. Then we settled stuffs in our own families. After that,SCDC [song-cheer-dance comm] had a meeting to recaps dance steps.. and so EVERYTHING for me was done by 8+pm and i reached home by 9+pm.

And the clean freak was kind enough to order me around. EXCUSE ME, I HADNT EVEN SETTLE DOWN LAAA. For once, can u just leave me alone..?!

Tomorrow's the first day of camp.

I'll be back on Saturday.

ps: SHAI HUSNI AND CICAK!! I CANT WAIT TO HANG OUT WITH U GUYS AGAAAAAAAAAIINNNN!!

---

im sorry if i ever made u down. i guess i myself was kinda angry too. and im really sorry u have to go through it all. be strong aite..? im sure there'll be a blessing in disguise. time will heal the wounds you have. stay happy my dear friend.

the list of things worth reminded for (:

2006-12-31T23:26:00.000+08:00

jjc.
making new friends.
06s10 pae.
alex the lame guy.
general paper.
hockey.
valentine's day.
o level results.
maths chem physics and h1 geog.
being an ogl for orientation 2.
06s10 jae.
more new friends.
celebrating birthdays!
meeting karolyn the-lame-girl gan.(karo must read this!)
makneneks and pakdatuks. and a whole of time spent with them- sentosa outing, dance fest, hari raya outing, bladibla.
dance.
opportunities to perform- chinese new year, dance fest @ kolam ayer, pesta peti putih.
being part of camwhores co.
concerts, plays, etc.
my remakable birthday=D
kfc
camwhoring.
morning peeps- the other set of dearies besides the makneneks and pakdatuks.
pw mates.
mt a level exam.
going through one of the greatest emotional turbulence.
promos.
hari raya aidilfitri.
vivocity.
sentosa.
jj's 25th anniversary/prom nite
MORE camwhoring.
that moment of bravery- the photo(:
hari raya aidiladha- the experience of watching them being slaughtered.
=) ;) :P =D and this> +) . i have know idea what it represents though. lolx.. [dude, it looks cute ey? haha!]

maybe i'll add more if i can think of more. heh.

goodbye 2006, hello 2007

JJ's 25th Anniversary cum Prom Nite=)

2006-12-31T16:25:00.000+08:00

---

fizahC sungguh tak glamour. lolx.

---

alamak mcm hantu la. heh.=)

---

with my kuYaGino
---

after the performance! =)
---

that guy and his 11 scandals`(=
---

*grins*=D
---

we're tired of formality=))
---

with the ex-president of Malay Dance, kak fara~
---

nawa syafiq upfront

---

muZz and syafiq take the lead!

i'll post more when i get more=D

thanks to everyone who contributed through their cameras!

and also to everyone who's in the pics!!

exhausted but happy=)

2006-12-30T00:37:00.000+08:00

FINALLY THE EVENT'S OVER!!!!
JJ's 25th Anniversary cum Prom Night was simply superb!
the weeks of hard work has been paid off. im so glad its over.
one performance down, many more to go.
ok, maybe a few more.
pictures shall be put up much later=)

i dunno where i got that courage. maybe it was due to desperation. maybe it was because i know i may not be seeing him anymore in school.
my heart just melts whenever i see his face.
he looked suave tonight. at least to me. and so i tapped his shoulder, and requested for a snapshot together. and i did it. i did it, though my heart was beating fast at that particular moment. i mean, which malay girl would dare to take a snapshot with a guy who isnt even an aquaintance to her..?? but i did it ^^
maybe to others, its just one bloody photo, but to me, it was more than a photo. beneath it lies my courage, and of course, his charm. he is simply an eye candy of mine, now and forever=)
im so sooo sooooo.. **grins**

alright alright im stopping.. but i'll be back with updates and all.
first i need pictures... girls, gimme gambar kay?!=))

muzzy is happy`

i suddenly think

2006-12-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

i silently wish i could understand you better.
i wish i knew whats going on in your mind.
i wish u could share with me some of your problems.
but hey, i respect your decisions no matter what.
its just that..

oh well, maybe its better for you and maybe you're happier doing things that way- your way.

we're still friends, are we?

im being paranoid.
haix.

name call / the plight of an innocent child

2006-12-25T15:41:00.000+08:00

it was yesterday my younger sis and i were arguing as usual when...

Mama: apa ni.. asyik pekik2 jer.. memang macam tarzan betul la korang ni..
Me: haha.. kalau kite tarzan, mak ibu tarzan..
Mama: ala.. memang mak mengaku, mak ibu tarzan.. takyah cakap pun..
Sis: kite tarzan pekik, mak tarzan nyanyi! mak nyanyi selalu sumbang!
(we cracked up)
Mak: (to my sis) ohh.. kenekan mak eh.. abeh kau tu raja nangis..
Me: bukan raja ma, tapi ratu! ratu ngampul!!
(laughed again)

---

i spent the last night at pasir ris again. and im back! heh.

it touched me when i saw him almost getting into tears when we had to part. it was as if that was our last meeting. but i'll be back for him, for sure...
he never asked for any of those to happen to him. he's way too young to understand the situation. behind the talkative him, i see innocence. behind his naughtiness, i see a bright smart boy.
it's normal for a male child to be naughty. it's normal for him to run around, and wrestle people. but it's crap if he is not showered with care and love by his own parents.
which is why i'm always there whenever possible. coz i wanna give him attention that he lacks from his own.., although he gets enough from others around.
i just hope that he'll grow up to be a good guy. and he wont allow his family background to be a reason for him to be carried away from a normal healthy live.

2006-12-24T10:29:00.000+08:00

First she said one thing.
Then she said another.

And now she has repeated what she said in the first place.
And the other one is not giving me any green light.
And everything's getting messed up.

This is DEFINITELY not an ideal thing to start my morning.
Urgh.

--

the pictures say it all`

2006-12-23T20:58:00.000+08:00

The Camp. 16th-17th Dec at EastCoastPark Area G.

what a face. lolx.

sisters.

what the...?!

swiss rolls!=)

farhad: hurry up write la..

qayyum: wait, must ask the expert- Fir..

best male camper: farhad

best female camper: yani

all ready to go home.

----------

I'm looking forward to our next meeting- 31st December=)

the bittersweet sad stupid dream

2006-12-22T21:00:00.001+08:00

----------

~I had a friend beside me and we were cycling. Suddenly he appeared in front of us, whizzing past with his own bike. The friend beside me called his name. He turned. He acknowledged the friend's presence, but looked at me quizzically. As if we never met before, when the fact was that he was my secondary school mate. He was still trying to figure out who I was. Feeling upset, I immediately distanced myself away, far away from them and had a good cry. When I was done, I cycled around before heading back, only to see him again. He gave an apologetic smile, only to be returned with silence from me. I walked away from him, but he held my hand, blurting words of apology. Our eyes met, and a tingling feeling rushed through my whole body. I let it be when he continued to hold my hands, crossing his fingers with mine. Slowly, i tightened the grip of his hands, closing the gap in between between our fingers~

*it was... there was this minute lil feeling in me for a split second telling me i was in another realm. but the story continued. *

~it was bliss. snuggling up to him. him holding my hands tight. and never let go. but, two weeks- it was ecstasy for only two weeks. and he went off one day. without bidding goodbye. i was close to tears but i held on~

**and i woke up, looking around me. i wanted to cry but i couldnt.**

a dream.
only a dream, although i wished the bliss would be true.

after that dream, i kept thinking. thoughts about you just flooded in.
i can practically count the number of conversations that we have ever made for the four years we spent in the same school.
how i wished we had a stronger friendship although we were in the same class for the first two years.
how i wished those words were said to me too.
if only i could tell you about that dream.
on second thoughts, maybe not.
if only you would start up a conversation with me on msn.
will there ever be a day...?

i miss you so badly suddenly.
will there ever be a time, when i can see you again..?
sigh.

__^It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are but I...
I'm with you^__

whats that purple thing?!

2006-12-21T22:07:00.000+08:00

MuZzY NaWa

MuZzY NaWa FiZahK

This costume will be worn for the school's 25th Anniversary cum Prom Nite.. wheeeeee~

tralala~ my phone's back

2006-12-21T18:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's Highlights--
Met my aunt after dance and went to Funan to claim something.
Then went back to Pasir Ris by cab.
Reunion with my adorable 5 year old cousin Irfan. No matter how naughty he is, i love him to bits=)
Canadian Pizza and chicken lasagna for dinner ( YUMMY!=D ).

the hyperactive irfan!

-----------

Went to Mustafa Centre with Yantee, FizahK, FizahC and Cikgu to buy makeup stuffs for dance.
Then had lunch at Bugis.
Headed down to PS. From there, FizahK went off for a mugging session(!!) with Shimah. Initially i decided to take my repaired phone some other day instead and joined Yantee, FizahC and Cikgu to watch Night At the Museum. But the queue to buy tix was freakin' long! And they've booked tix for themselves. So i decided to stick to my original plan which was to claim my phone at Wisma Atria.
MY PHONE"S BACK! =)) But, sorry friends, temporarily i cant reply to any of ur messages or be contacted through my phone coz it's run out of credit. heh.

----------

the F3 Flag=)) i drew that "F III" and wrote that "Lesson for today"!! heh.

thats it for now. im off~

fill in the blanks

2006-12-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

library session- three laughable peeps, two clowns from the cafe, and one spot.

---

it's ______ how the mood changes from one extreme end to another in just an hour.
it's ______ how a simple conversation with a person can cause a disagreement with another one in just a few minutes.
it's ______ how a simple bedroom can cause two people to fight, fight and fight almost every day.
it's ______ when i hear the same thing again and again.
it's ______ when suddenly im controlled of what I do.
since when...?
it's ______ when suddenly someone's using your property which you have been searching for for quite some time.

effit.
it irks me.
it's..... arrr, i can't find words to describe them.

----

im not the only girl...
who the heck am i to control.....?

maybe i really shouldnt think too much. its making me confused and all.

2D1N camp @ ECP=))

2006-12-17T23:32:00.000+08:00

Firstly, some pictures for reference purposes, etc etc.

***

*Let's R.A.C.E Camp*ers

-from left to right-

front row : Sis Yati, Uncle Mo, the mosque president, Bro Usamah, Sis Fizah

second row: muz, yani, rusy, fir, redha, izan, daya, syafiqah

back row: qayyum, rani, farhad, hakeem, the father of qayyum and hakeem

not in pic: bro wan, san, khaliq, adilah, liyana.

***

this is fir.

***

this is khaliq.

***

this is san and usamah.

***

Organiser: Belia Mujahidin
Head of the camp: Sis Fizah, Sis Yati, Bro Wan
Logistics: Firdaus, Khaliq, Hassan
Games Head: Usamah, Hassan
Participants: 20 people=)
Date and Venue:16-17 December, EastCoastPark Area G

Arrival at ECP--
The area was veeeery far from McDonalds, but with transport, we managed to reach that area from the mosque. After settling down and listening to a welcome speech by Uncle Mo (the head volunteer of the Mujahidin Youth) and the mosque president, we had our breakfast while some guys pitched the tents. And then we had some icebreaker games. We played this game called 7-uP and the last guy and girl standing was Farhad and me=) But i lost to him. Haha... Next, we were divided to two groups, guys and girls, and we had to arrange ourselves accordingly by name, and then by birthdates. And for both times, the girls won!

Telematch--
After changing our sandals/shoes to flip-flops, we had Telematch. This time, we had a mix of guys and gals in two group. I was under Usamah's group along with Yani, Izan, Liyana, Syafiqah, Khaliq, Firdaus and Qayyum, while the rest- Rusy, Adilah, Daya, Sis Yati, Farhad, Hakeem, Redha, Rani- were under Hassan's group. We had to run around, picked up sweets amongst flour, fill up a cup with seawater and transferred it to a big bottle, repeating the steps till the water reached the bottle's brim. The were three cups, one without any holes and two with holes. Khaliq, being the first one to go, had to dig for cup that was being buried under the sand and took the cup with a hole. So the team was slower in filling up the cup. And duh, of course, we cheated. Haha. Usamah just grabbed hold of sand and smoothly placed it in the bottle to make the water rise. Hence, although we finished filling up the bottle the same time as Hassan's team, they won of course. Firstly it was because their bottle was so.. clearer than ours that was HALF-FILLED with sand. Haha. And secondly, of course, we cheated. Haha. But all had a good laugh.
Then we played the classic Dog'N'Bone. And for the scond time, we lost to them. Haha...

After lunch and Zuhur prayers--
We started preparing for the mini performance for that night, while waiting for Treasure Hunt to commence. The theme was 'Anak Derhaka' (translation: umm... a child who is.... *alamak i dunno how to translate la.. heh) After brainstorming, we decided to put up a play and came up with a storyline. It was really hilarious, the way Fir and Usamah and everyone else make up funny lines to liven up the presentation although the theme was kinda of a somber one. Hahaha.

Treasure Hunt--
Befor the Hunt, we had to play a game to determine which team would start the treasure hunt first. We had o fill this cylindrical cardboard with water to make the pingpong bal inside the cardboard rise to the brim and we coul pick it up. The trick was, the cylinder had many small holes and we had to cover it up.. And thank God, we won for this round. So we were off to the destinations given. There were 7 destinations, along EastCoast, and 8 clues in total. We had to collect the clues in order to find out our pit stop. Since each of us had different staminas, we split up to make the job easier. Some had to walk all the way to *yikes* McDonald's for the clues. **Imagine walking from Queenstown to Bouna Vista or Dover or maybe even further**. I was assigned to be with Fir to walk to Bedok Jetty and this place called Kayak Sports and FnB. for two clues. By the time we reached our destination, Fir was already panting and had leg cramps. We sat down for a while after getting our clues, and headed to the pitstop once he regained his breath back.
Me and Fir were the first ones to arrive at the pitstop since we walked the shortest distance compared to the rest. When the rest of my teammates and some peeps from the other team arrived, we sat down ad chilled. Laughters wasn't missed as Khaliq and Rusy started telling lame jokes around. Hahaha. When the rest of the peeps from my team and the other team arrived, i found out that Rani was injured due to being chased by a dog. And Hakeem was barefooted coz his slippers was unusable. Since both teams broke the rule of staying together while walking during the Treasure Hunt, we had to overcome another obstacle, which was walking sideways to the final destination with our legs being tied to one another. It was hard, i tell ya, but we managed to coordinate and -finally- won the treasure hunt game=D

After Asar and Maghrib prayers--
Takzirah by San. It as something like a reflection period for us. An emotional period for some.
We started setting up the BBQ Pit, while some invited people make their arrival to the area. Adilah's Mum and bro, Qayyum and Hakeem's parents, Bro Jameel and family, Usamah's Dad, Sis Fiza & Liyana's parents and others. Since one of the two pits' lamppost was spoilt, we used the other pit only for the food. Most of the time I kept myself busy BBQ-ing the crabsticks, chicken wings and drumsticks, sausages, corn, satay.. Besides seeing the rest enjoying themselves too- some playing soccer, others eating, FOOD kept me smiling for the night=))
Then we did a final touch up and cleared doubts fo the final showdown of the performance. As we performed, impromptu script came up and it made our whole play simply.. heartwarming, From the laughters we could see that they enjoyed our play. The other team did really well too, putting up a mini musical.. Haha. I had a good laugh too^^

**My group's Play -The Cast and Crew-
:: Daddy- Fir
:: Mummy- MuZz
:: Son- Qayyum
:: Daughter- Izan
:: Son's friends- Khaliq and Usamah
:: Daughter's friends- Yani and Liyana
:: Narrator- Syafiqah

The plot- The son, Qayyum was obliged to take care of his sick daddy. He even declined when his wild friends asked him out. 0One day he was tired of living that way, so he became wild and learnt to stay out till late night. His actions indirectly influenced the daugther, Izan. One day Izan was pestering her mummy to buy her a new phone. The mummy was frustrated, and slapped her. So she ran away. Upon seeing that the mummy slapped his sister, Qayyum pushed his mummy down. All this happened beside the daddy who was lying down. He then died out of a heart attack. Qayyum was remorseful of what happened. Izan met her 'bad' friend Yani at the first level of her flat and decided to sleepover at her house. After a few days the mummy called Liyana, Izan's good friend, to ask for help in searching for her daughter. Liyana then managed to find Izan and told her to go home coz the daddy had passed away. And so she went home to seek forgiveness from the mummy. **

ps: its not THAT serious u know. hahaha..

After the play, we had a lucky draw and mini prize presentation for the telematch and treasure hunt. For the lucky draw, Usamah noticed most of our group got the lucky draw prize, including me=) haha...
Then they went for Isyak prayers while some of the guests started going home... So did Adilah and Liyana.

After shower and midnight came--
Ustazah Jamilah, Ustaz Yusof's family arrived and hung around=) We managed to play with their daughters and sons. The youngest one, Hasif is sooo adorable!
Kicking the soccer ball around. Still munching on BBQued Food. Cycling around. Blasted music. Bitched about stuffs. Everything except turning in. The pit was still 'on' with low heat. Then some went for midnight games. The Time Game ver.1, the Holiday Game, and the Time Game ver.2 were up on the list, lead by Bro Wan. Hahaaa. It was great, seeing the blurrrr faces, esp Khaliq's, when they didnt grasp the idea of the games and how they go. We also played the *Gun, Bang, Ahhh* game (whatever it's called.. hahah). Funny game there. Hahah.
After the night game, I hung around for a lil' while longer. My brain was begging me to sleep, so I turned in at around 0300, woke up at around 0430 for changing of locations of tents (due to lightning and thunder), slept back at around 0500 and woke up at ard 0615. Guess my plan to stay up till next morning didn't work. Haha.

**

The morning of 17th Dec
I was awaken by them for another round of takzirah after Subuh prayers. Ater that, we had some reflection session along with Uncle Mo giving another round of speech and presenting to us our certificates. Then we packed up. After that, there was another round of prize presentation for the best male camper and best female camper. Farhad and Yani. Weeeeee~ Then they presented tokens of appreciation for Teacher Ju and her husband (Qayyum and Hakeem's parents) for staying overnight with us. Not forgetting the 7people who organised the whole thing for us. Thank you, Sisters and Brothers. (Unfortunately Hassan and Khaliq had to go home early morning for a soccer tounament). We checked te area for the final time, and headed off to the carpark for the bus which brought us back to the mosque.
Upon reaching the mosque, we carried the stuffs back into the mosque and placed them to where they should be. Then i went to Ustazah Jamilah's office for my report book. Alhamdullilah, I got 3rd!! Usamah's dad offerd to send the Jurong peeps- me, Rani, Daya and Syafiqah back home. So away we went.

1100 to 1800- 7hours for a nap after reaching home.

*That's not a nap, that's my daytime bedtime!*

Overall i truly loved the camp. Hopefully they will organise something like that again. I'm really thankful to be given the opportunity to attend the camp. It was really great to foster and stregthen the bonds between me and the madrasah peeps.

::Facts::-
- I could feel myself blushing when i lost to Farhad for the Icebreaker Games. Heh.. I know losing's not a big deal, but it was kinda embarassing losing to a guy two years younger. Haha..
- It was a great way back from Kayak Sports and FnB to the pit stop with Fir during treasure hunt. He shared loadz of things with me. Im glad our 11 years of friendship is still alive. Thanks Fir=)
- Khaliq can be a part time joker. Haha.
- I didnt even touch a single BBQued chicken. All i did was cook anf fan. Haha.
- Daya and Hassan can make a duet album. Their voices are superb!
- Syafiqah and Usamah's such a sweet couple... and his dad's a sporting man too=)

2006-12-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

Painting of flags was ok.

Audition went ok. From left- muz, syafiqah, sophian the casting director, fizahK.

---

Sometimes, you just can't stop these things from surfacing time and again in your thoughts.

matters of the heart. every single experience mattered.

hurt. two weeks of hell and alot more before it were more than enough to make me realise what hurt is. its as if you can feel your heart literally being ripped apart. as if, there was really something big piercing through your heart. as if... uhhh..

frustration. it could happen suddenly. for God-knows-what reason. it could be due to a lack of attention. or maybe, you're just pissed.

confusion- everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, must have at least felt this thing once in life. it can be due to one thing- thinking too much. thats the most common reason i guess.

gosh.. whatever was i blabbering about?

---

i suddenly miss the Morning Peeps again. i wanna laugh with u guys.

haix.

i need to cry i think.

2006-12-14T22:11:00.000+08:00

thank you, God, for giving me the patience to get into this page.

Mugging session with FizahK today at Woodlands Regional Library.
That guy behind her was so... annoying.
Reading loudly to himself coz "it was too noisy", yawning like a dinosaur from Jurrasic Park (Fiza said so.. LOL). It was as if he OWNED that place. Wonder why no officer made her rounds today.
"No wonder nobody sat here", she said too. Hahaha. Really, we found that table empty when we reached.
Managed to do some Maths. Yippee.
complex numbers. z, -z, z*, iz. urgh.

---

to YOU, YOU, and YOU. who are so unrelated to me.
i know this is none of my concern, but hey, i gotta express my dissatisfaction. not to only who three.
but to those who think they deserve it. and this is something in general too.

firstly, WHAT THE HECK ARE U GUYS THINKING, man? i know it will sound that im green or something, but hell no, im just trying to bring out a point here- SHE is NOT the only girl in this world.

you have moved on alright, but why are you still hoping?
just because you're older, and "smarter", you think whatever you say is right?
And you, i'm sorry you haven't gotten over her entirely, but.. i guess i haven't much comments for you.

i wonder..
why do some guys think they are ALWAYS right?
issit hard for some guys to accept the fact that some girls not meant for them? haven't they ever heard of "takkan gunung lari walau dikejar"?
some guys tell girls to let go and move on, but why can't they themselves do the same thing?
are some guys that egoistic?
i wonder..
i wonder..

damn i wonder too much.

----

2006-12-13T21:21:00.000+08:00

before.

---

in the yellow line.

---

we are burnt!

---

after.

---

the beautiful one.

---

insurance. money. 'coincidental' meetings. tell me something i dunno.

telinga aku berdesing mendengar semua itu.

why dont u blurt those shit on HER?

---

im confused.

2006-12-13T16:44:00.000+08:00

u guys are just a bunch of assholes.
it hurt, dammit.
im fine with the idea of prank calls.

but what turned out to be a joke for u guys was hurtful for me.
a stupid storyline which brought me back to memories that i was trying not to think about.
of all people, it has to be me.
of all types, it has to be THAT type.
why dont YOU go and do it on your girl instead?
and that person who calls me pompuan giler, kau pergi cermin diri kau dulu lah. sape suruh korang naikkan kemarahan aku?!

argh. never mind bout that.
it happened yesterday night.

oh yes, about yesterday.
please go to FizahK's blog for an update of Sentosa..

WE ARE TANNED!=))

-----

she walked. and walked. finally she saw it. it was beautiful to her. it stood high and wide beside the school. it was a beauty. but she didnt have the courage to walk up. not because of the fear of falling, but becauese she was alone.

still admiring the hill, she decided to stroll along the pathway on that curved road. she silently wished that there was another path built from the foot to the summit of the hill. she silently wished that someone would accompany her there; at least she wont feel odd walking up alone.

she was still admiring, even when she reached the exit of the curved road. looking at the hill for the final time, she silently wished again that she could be on the summit of that beauty one day. she continued walking to the bus-stop in front, and decided to head home.

each to his or her own opinions

2006-12-10T23:53:00.000+08:00

its only pretending if u think its pretending.
to me i dont think its pretending.
to you maybe it is. if u think i still am, then accept this: pretending
helps me to cope.

each to her opinion.

-

sometimes, through all, i see u as a big sore loser.
perhaps the hurt you went through was really bad, and u havent let out enough. so u were venting out on me.
"dont dwell. dont dwell."
but u still cant get over her.
i mean, what the hell was that shit for, man, trying to screw her mentally, physically, and emotionally?
i still think its dendam.

each to her opinion.

-

i change and i become the opposite.
so i wont be faking, yes?
i change for a reason. it's none of ur concern why.
yes, ure a friend. u dont wanna see me suffer big time from pretending. i know u still think i am.
but, hell. as i say, suit urself.
i have my own stand. but im just not the type who likes to fight back.
i prefer silence.
honestly, i cant be bothered.

each to her opinion.

-

if u think im confused, its YOU who made me.
coz i always chose simplicity.

each to her own opinion.

-

lemme suffer myself in silence if im wrong.
and thats a big fat IF.

2006-12-09T23:06:00.000+08:00

I love looking for Malay names in the Malay dictionary. Even during exam, when I finished my paper, I will browse through the dictionary and start searching for names.
Haha. Weird me, ey?
And today, while I was chatting with a friend, the topic about names was brought up. So I decided to blog about it.
From the latest edition of Kamus Dewan, i present to you- some of the names=)
**Oh, sorry to the non Muslims. Heh.**

Adi- mengikut adat, biasa, lazim
Adib- beradab, berbahasa, bersopan Ilham- petunjuk
Alif- sahabat, teman Firdaus- syurga kedua, taman kesenangan
Amin- yang dapat dipercayai dengan sesuatu amanah
Amir (Amirul)- orang yang memegang perintah, pemimpin
Fadilat (Fadilah)- kemuliaan, ketinggian, kelebihan (dalam beribadah)
Firdaus- syurga kedua, taman kesenangan Hafiz- orang yang hafaz Qur'an
Hafiz- orang yang hafaz Qur'an
Hafizah- orang yang hafaz Qur'an (perempuan)
Hakim- org yang pandai2, org yang ahli (yg bijaksana)
Halim- baik budi, lemah lembut, tidak lekas marah
Haris- penjaga
Hasan- baik, cantik, elok
Hasanah- baik cantik, elok/ kebahagiaan, kebaikan
Hayati- mengenai hayat(hidup)
Ilham- petunjuk
Iman- ketetapan hati, kekuatan batin
Khair (Khairul)- baik, elok
Khalik- yang menjadikan
Malik- yg memiliki, raja, tuhan
Nur (Nurul)- cahaya, terang
Rahim- belas kasihan
Rahman- belas kasihan, pengasih
Sakinah- aman, damai
Siti- wanita yang mulia
Solehah- taat dan patuh kepada perintah Allah
Syahid/ Syuhada- saksi
Syed (Sayid)- gelaran orang yang berketurunan dari Nabi Muhammad SAW
Zahid- orang yang soleh hidupnya dan tidak dikuasai oleh kemewahan dan keseronokan
Zahir- nyata

And finally, my name means perhiasan. Heh.
I lurrve my name=)

----

::The M1 customer you're calling is currently unavailable. Please try again later. ::

Damn.
My phone's screwed.
If you need to contact me, just call me at my home number for now, aite? Thanks.
---

2006-12-09T14:57:00.000+08:00

MORE pictures.
Sorry. Pictures just keep me smiling=D

----

she's not shy. she was LAUGHING so hard. hahaha!

-----

im so... pucat. haha.

----

I cant see properly even when wearing contact lens.

Wearing contact lens is so.. leceh.

2006-12-09T01:08:00.000+08:00

More pics bebey! Haha..

ShiLa MuZz

----

ShiELa MuZz
----

FizahCicak MuZz
----

jJar jJar, of all poses.. kau buat mcm gitu.. ish3..

----

Me and of the dancers, Hanafi (FizahK's friend)

MuZz FizahK on the way home~

Some facts about the whole concert:

- The starting was kinda weak..

- Many different types of dances

- The masked men and women was great, and so was 'Faces Part I (Together)'

- Beat-boxing part was really superb. So was the guest dancers from NYP.

- The Hip-Hop Dance Club teacher, Mr Daniel Yeow, looks like a Malay! Haha..

- The price of the tix was worth it=)

alright, that's all for now. im off to dreamland.
toodles!

SP Dance and Cheer Waves 11 Concert

2006-12-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

The concert was Simply Superb. Haha.

Random pics!

Waiting...

And waiting..

Nawa Muzzy.

After the Concert!

Whoopeedoo!

THANK YOU, MY FRIENDS<3

2006-12-07T23:44:00.000+08:00

This short entry is a thank-you entry..

THANKS THANKS AND MORE THANKS TO:

:: Husni, for helping me in this *NEW!* blogskin=D

:: FarhaNut, coz without her, Husni couldn't have given me the blogskin code=))

:: FizahK, for the company today.. and the past few days too^^

:: iLhaM, for the new friendship (=

And thank You to everyone who had been there for me through my woes recently:

:: Jon, Khaliq, Shai, Husni, iLhaM, FizahK

and everyone else who deserve my thanks=))

I LOVE MY NEW BLOGSKIN!

2006-12-07T13:03:00.000+08:00

Random:
suddenly i missed them. heh.

mOrNing MadNeSs wiTh mOrNing peEps!

left to right: fizahCicak muZz syafiq husni shai.

----------

I was bloghopping and this particular entry caught my attention..

You want to know your japanese name?

If you do, then try this out. It's quite interesting.

However, the names sounded very stupid and funny. really. haha.

All you have to do is to..

1) Take each letter of your name

2) Substitute it with the japanese word.

Aniwae, the names might be kinda long. So don't complain if it is difficult for you to memorise it.

* A- ka* B- zu* C- mi* D- te* E- ku* F- lu* G- ji* H- ri*I- ki* J- zu* K- me* L- ta* M- rin* N- to* O-mo* P- no*Q- ke* R- shi* S- ari* T-chi* U- do* V- ru* W-mei* X- na*Y- fu* Z- zi.

so.. my name will be..

**rindozikakifukatokari** -muzaiyanah

lolx. it sounds really funny. hahaha!

2006-12-06T21:44:00.000+08:00

dear readers.
im so sorry u have to face my angst again.

crying is good for health.
HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO STOP CRYING.
coz i jolly well cry AS and WHEN i like.
the easy form of relieving stress.

SHUT THE HELL UP.
mentang2 kau kecik, aku je la yang kene mengalah.
im fcukstratedd.

and YOU, i forgive you for your mistake.
BUT PLEASE, dont ever tell him anything again aite?
you happened to message me at the time i was badly breaking down.
ok, sorry, next time, i wont tell you anything so that youwont be burdened.

im off for a drink~

2006-12-06T13:30:00.000+08:00

Get Your Sexy Name

what is Zenith??

Argh!

2006-12-05T22:05:00.000+08:00

Just because im a girl.
semua, aku yang kene buat la.
i already said i'll do it.
but where's your trust in me??
where??!
did i leave it just like that the last time u asked me to do it?
no i didnt.
i still did what u told me to.
and i kept mum. complains decreased excessively.
so why must you repeat??
on top of that, you have to tell him.
so that he can bully me?

just because you're older.
does that mean u can bully me as and when u like?
oh, i forgot. the older usually dominates.
and they can do things as they please.

just because u're younger and u have more money than me.
u dont have to brag dammit.
i know where i stand here.
i won go down on my knees for ur money.
u can go to hell with it.

just because u're younger, we own the same place, and u're neater than me.
does that mean u can insult me? disrespect me?
aku jaga tapi kain aku, kau jaga tepi kain kau sudah la.
give me some space, will u?!
my space, tempat aku, asal kau susah?!
aku nak messy-kan tempat aku ke, aku nak jadikan tempat aku tong sampah ke, kenape kau mesti kacau??!

just because im lazy.
that doesnt mean i wont do what u told me to.
kalau aku begitu pemalas, dah lama aku tinggalkan kerja-kerja tu lah.
sebanyak mana aku membantah, aku masih melakukannya.

im really disappointed.
disappointed in you.
disappointed that u never support what i do.
masuk netball salah. masuk drama salah. masuk dance pun salah.
aku tahu, aku yang selalu banyak gunakan wang.

dan semua takkan faham bahawa ini adalah satu-satunya impianku.

maybe i should run away one day and see what happens.

sabar, Muz, sabar.

Straitjacket feeling- All American Rejects

2006-12-05T11:13:00.000+08:00

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straitjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again

Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

And when that memory slips away
There'll be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

----------

2006-12-04T21:19:00.000+08:00

im gonna have sleepless nights.

damn it was a good bargain.

damn it was a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity.

damn it was something i like.

why cant they understand??
why cant they understand at all??!
or issit really not meant for me?

F for family. F for financial.

F for FIASCO.
a total Failure.
none of the three plans works.

thinking of 180 bucks will gimme more sleepless nights.

F for eFF itself.
eff eff eff ef....

---

im cussing.
To whatever.
whoever.
whenever. wherever.
arrrrr. this doesnt make sense.
at all.

---

im disappointed.
im disappointed that u treat me THAT way.
im disappointed that u dont bother.
at least, thats what YOU showed.

the wait- i shouldnt have done it.
one freakin' long hour- the price i paid just to see ur face again.

that meeting- i shouldnt have at all.

those words- u didnt realise how much they hurt.
yes, they hurt, dammit.
those words stink. and sting.
it almost brought me to tears.
but i bet u didnt realise it.
or maybe, u just dont bother to realise it.

so much for wanting to see you again.

i dont bother to control my emotions anymore.
infact, i never do.

ahhH!!
to heLL with this.

2006-12-03T19:57:00.000+08:00

180 bucks.
cash/atm.
where can i get such cash in 2 weeks?!

i was disappointed.
u didn't even sound interested to listen.
yes, partly my fault for even expecting YOU to help.
or maybe you just dont bother about me anymore.
have you really thrown me out of your life..?
argh.
blameitonthatbastard.

damn me i think too much.
argh.
sigh.

2006-12-02T21:05:00.000+08:00

Smiles and joy are worth it=))

Random facts of the past few days:

- aerobics

- 3d2n stay at my 'second house', pasir ris

- muhammad irfan bin gulias is getting naughtier every day

- no home-cooked food

- $130 make up [!!!]

- laywer's letter

- disney channel, cartoon network

Today:

Before going home from Pasir Ris, I went to the library@ esplanade with FizahK for a script reading programme. Thanks for accompanying me, darling!

And I believe Jon's script has the potential to be pursued into play=)

Although "aku dan/si mat cd" was good too.

Then we went to McD@ Marina Square for late lunch.

Stupid me didnt know we have to put the sugar in the hot coffee ourselves! But it was a good laugh, yes Fizah? Hahahaha...

Then we walked around the mall.. and then headed home.

----------

"Cute guys. They're a feast for the eyes. So what? NOT like I can OWN them. They may simply be attached or something."

This is one thing that i always tell myself when i see cute guys on the streets.

So that i'll snap out of my fantasies.

Cikgu kata, "Jangan cari boyfriend di JC, cari di Uni lagi bagus."

I think it's true.

But just one thought..

How about "cari boyfriend di luar sekolah; di tengah jalan"?

----------

::HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained::

U used to be a nobody to me

You were a complete stranger

When we chatted on the Net

I knew you better

Then came one day

I plucked up the courage

And out of the blue

I asked for your number

We talked on the phone

and I felt you were near

Though we've never met before

we were missing each other

Then I felt like you were drifting

But it was just paranoia

is was just my feeling

I let time solve the questions

that keep playing in my head

I let time time reveal

what was needed to be heard and said

The truth hurt badly

It cut me deep

Finally got over it

After nights without sleep

Now it's no longer all about you

I can't be bothered to think bout it

Coz i've woken up from that single fantasy

Tired to be pondering over the same thing

It's best for me to live in reality

And cherish all the best moments

that my dearest ones bring

2006-11-29T20:23:00.000+08:00

Stupid.
Stupid creatures.
Stupid annoying bunch of creatures.

Suddenly i love the word 'stupid'.

Why can't you understand?
Why can't you get the message that i wanna see you again?
Why can't you get the hint that i wanna keep the friendshi alive?
Why can't you simply get the fact that i wanna get closer to you??

----------

Severe ties. Severe ties. Severe ties.

Can we ever make things right?
Can we just berdamai?
Please?
Damn i need to cry.

Eff off.

2006-11-29T06:49:00.000+08:00

My alarm woke me up early in the morning at 6.10am.
So do three messages.
Upon reading one of them, i know i couldn't go back to sleep.

Damn that person who decided to attack her again.
But u know what? I think u lost again. u haven't manage to kill her. And you wont.
Damn u, loser.
YOU are just another loser.
A big-time LOSER.
So you do practise the freedom of exression here.
YOU want the rights, and you got them.
But, hahaha, YOU simply DON'T have the power to hurt her. Coz she's strong, dammit.
YOU, with YOUR effing words, can try harder.

On second thoughts..
Dont bother.
Coz you're just wasting energy trying to kill her.

Sometimes all these happenings make me thankful that my tagboard is kinda dead.
Even if it's not, i don't get sore losers in my tag.

Oooh. Im so wide awake now. Haha.

2006-11-28T19:09:00.000+08:00

First of all, more pictures=)

241106

muzzy and kika the cutie=))

giant teddy and muzzy. it reminds me of shai. lol!

---

After Puteri Gunung Ledang..

Muzzy and Fizah=))

I love this =D

---

Had a movie session at FizahK's house yesterday after Dance. Watched 'Honey'.

Nice meeting you, Shimah!!

Heh.

And Today..

Shopping at Bugis with FizahK!! Heee.

She bought a new bag. Damn it was nice.

I had no cash. So i bought nothing. Haha.

After Bigus, we headed down to FarEast to survey shoes.

Great shopping-without-money day. Haha.

----------

I think i got over him. Yesssss!!

Hahaha=)

2006-11-26T21:08:00.000+08:00

The past few days were filled with great events!

Friday facts:
- 2-hr dance rehearsal
- trip to Esplanade with Mira, FarhaNut and her sis, Kika!
- Kika is sooo cute!
- The dikir performance was great=)
- Cabbed home; fully funded by Kak Idayu. Heh. Tnx!

Summation of Saturday:
- Esplanade again for.. PUTERI GUNUNG LEDANG- THE MUSICAL!!!!
- Yantee, FizahC, FizahK, Nawa, Shila, Azzam, Syafiq, Muzzy
- IT WAS SUPERB!
- Tiara Jacquelina is gorgeous=)
- Cavana for dinner
- LOADS OF CAMWHORING(as u can see from the slide before this entry) =D

Today’s trail:
- Madrasah CIP: Jualan Kupon Nasi Briyani Amal
- Library session with FizahK and Nawa
- Hot fudge sundae and chocolate waffle=))
- A new mouse bought by my bro!!! No more mouse-sharing! Yippee!!

----------

Here’s an old song. But I love the lyrics=)

Blurry- Puddle of Mud

Everything’s so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody’s empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds youI
stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my sea
You know that I’ll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
Imagine where you are
There’s oceans in between us
But that’s not very far

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?

Everyone is changing
There’s no one left that’s real
So make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my sea
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There’s oceans in between us
But that’s not very far

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me

Oh, Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to run away
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you where to run away

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me

No, this pain you gave to me
Take it all away
Take it all away
Pain ya gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me

----------

The freedom of saying anything you want.
ANYTHING.
Whether it hurts or not, you don’t care, do you?
Damn I was fucked up.
None of my business, but damn.. I cant be bothered to control my emotions.
It scars, dammit, it scars.
She doesn’t feel like blogging anymore.
Is that what you want? Are you satisfied now, u coward lil’ bitch?

----------

Hell damn you don’t have to start it first.
Like, duh, I was going to visit it when you told me not to.
Hell you don’t have to tell me to look at the part when you jolly well know I’m observant enough.
Fuck the assumption that I was jealous, when I don’t even bother to.
Coz I bloody know where I stand in your life.

Damn I just cant leave this out. Urgh.

----------

251106 esplanade extravaganza!

2006-11-26T00:05:00.000+08:00

2006-11-23T21:21:00.000+08:00

A new maths formula: morning maths lecture + morning peeps = maniacs!
Haha!
The last 30 minutes of the two-hour lecture was spent camwhoring. And I simply changed my position from one side of the LT to the other side, leaving my stuffs, to join the crazy antics of the two jokers.
FizahC andSyafiq followed suit. Haha. Except that Syafiq took his Maths book with him. So hardworking. Haha.

greyscale.

husni's hand hard at workwhile shai cared to pose. whee~

muzzy and syafiq~

the smiles=D

and so morning peeps posed for the cam!

thanks for the pics, big teddy!=))

----------

Brought my sis to watch 'Happy Feet' after she got back her PSLE results. For a girl like her, i thnk her aggregate's okay.

Damn, 'Happy Feet' was great! Haha=)

----------

i feel like removing my tagboard.

----------

its fun isnt it?

going offline without any signal?

even if u dont wanna blurt a word of goodbye, at least say that u gotta go or something.

nahh, some people just bother, i guess. saying that its a hassle, leceh, blabla.

im like that too sometimes.

haiyo, bende kecik gini pun nak dibesar-besarkan.

im just stating what i dislike here. so, sape2 yg terase tu, sorry la eh.

RaYa 181106=)

2006-11-23T14:53:00.000+08:00

2006-11-22T12:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday(Tuesday).
Another combined dance rehearsal. Chaos, as usual, but not so bad.
Blablabla.

Lunch at JP with the usual clan.

Movie session: StepUp at Yantee's house!! Yippee!

Ran off to Vivo(thats two days in a row); accompanied Fir and Rani in their search for jobs.
Halfway through, we met San and Acil at BK.
And so after their dinner, we continued the job hunting.. and for San, girl-hunting. Hahaha.

I swear im getting bored of Vivo, after the tawaf-ing session yesterday.
Haha.

----------

Will there ever be a right time?

Is there even such thing as a right time, or wrong time?

----------

Just a random thought.
My friend once posted this question: "What will happen if a friend's brother fall for you?"
Now im gonna ask: What will happen if you fall for your friend's brother?
Hmm..

2006-11-21T01:25:00.000+08:00

Its wee hours in the morning and i cant sleep. hhaaha..

so i decided to post pics!

yippee!~ haha..

shall post more next time, when i get MORE of the pics.

Jalan Raye on 181106

Bangla and me. wahaha..

the pic is blurrr, but... whatever=)

me and farhad=) tapi rani sibuk jek. haha.

the team that survived in the last house! only bro masuri, and adilah and najihah werent in the pic..

clockwise from extreme left: kak yati, bro shaf, rusy, us, liyana, ustzh khatijah, kak zura, san, khaliq, farhad, yani, izan, ustzh's mother(infront of izan), kak fizah, daya, muzz

--------------------

dance in the afternoon.

rainy day.

vivo for sunset with FizahC and Cikgu.

McD WestCoast for dinner.
i wanna slp now. haha. toodles~

2006-11-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

Lethargy comes after days of excitement and mixed feelings. So many things happened for the past few days, even in the past few hours.

Wednesday.
The first combined dance rehearsal.
We were taught new steps for the fusion bit.
Wth. They havent even settled on how to combine the individual dances together, and they already started on the fusion part.

And night came with the third rehearsal held for my dikir performance on Friday. Tired.

Thursday.
Dance in the morning.

Lunch with Yantee and FizakC at JP.

Went for an optional dikir rehearsal at night, just to help Hassan out, coz he havent learn his steps yet.
Yes, more practice, more fun and laughter.
And more confessions by Rani. Hmm..

Friday.
2nd combined rehearsal held in LT5. The most chaotic ever. Sheesh.
Stupid system there, i guess.
I knew something like that would happen, coz they didnt settle on how to combine the individual dances first.
Instead, they went ahead on teaching us dance steps for the fusion bit.
At the end of rehearsal, the Malay Dancers were taken as an example for working hard and being committed for the dance=)
All the more we should practice hard right?
So much for that particular teacher telling US MALAY DANCERS not to practice too hard. Hurhur.

The night finally came.
After 4 nights of practice, we put up a showcase of a skit-and-informal-dikir-cum-singing performance. Whoa. A medley of Raya songs sung.
We cocked up just for a second. Coz the solo singer laughed. And we started laughing too. Haha.
Overall we did a great job, looking by the fact that we only had 4 nights to practise =)

Saturday.
Raya outing with madrasah friends.
A record breaking event. Loads of pictures taken. They shall be put up at a later date.
Statistics:
18 - the number of people who tagged along. Also the number of houses visited.
15- the amount of money each had to pay for the transport.
14- the number of hours taken to visit all the houses (From 10.30am till around 12.30am)
10- the amt of money chipped in by me to take a cab home. From Tampines
2- the number of ppl who took a cab home with me, Rani and Daya.
1- the number of transport used for the day.
Countless- the fun had and the bonds created=)
Whooppeedoo!

Sunday(Today).
Went out and came back three times alternately. Haha.
We put up an identical dikir item at the CC.
Then went back to mosque for oral exam.

Minutes after I reached home from madrasah, I went out of the house with the same kebaya that i wore just now. Haha.
With Zul and gang, we serbu my ex-sec sch teacher's houseat CCK.

Reached home. And again, left the house AGAIN to visit an old neighbour of ours.
Haha.

--------------------

Im glad that i had the chance, and the courage to talk.
Even if what came out were phrases instead of lengthy sentences or a chunk of conversation.
I guessed the those nights were enough to give me the courage to SAY words out.
And to even take a snapshot.

--------------------

Stuck between two teenage love stories. Thats how i felt.
Well, sort of.
'Stuck' isnt exactly a good word used in this case coz im not involved directly.
Im just helping to convey messages. And trying to make one of the stories have a happy ending.

One is a year older than the girl while the other is a year younger.
One is still hoping, and waiting for the girl who's attached, coz she's still in his heart. While the other is hoping to get her again coz he simply cant forget her.

Initially im only helping one. But the other story came out just suddenly.
So.. two messages to be delivered to the respective girls.
I feel like being a Cupid. Haha.

--------------------

I just cant feel any chemistry between me and a person when making new friends.
Perhaps ive lost the mood to make new friends online.
It could be temporary.
Or forever.
Rasanya aku benar-benar sudah tawar hati.

suddenly i wanna hear his voice.
Pffftt.

2006-11-15T17:55:00.000+08:00

i dont know. i seriously dont know. well, maybe i know but i cant put it into words. i cant string words into sentences. well, maybe i can, but im just not putting in effort.

i just want answers to all, if not, most of the questions that keep playing in my mind.
its like, you think, you ask yourself, but you dont get the answers, so you leave them aside. and then when the time comes again, u start thinking of the questions again. and the whole process repeats in a never-ending cycle.

---

stupid. i seriously feel stupid.
obviously you played around with your words. im sure, if other girls were to be in HER position, they will be mad. at you.
or at me. either one of us.
but yea, as u say, you're faithful to her.
so be it. i believe you.
we are not like what we used to anyway.

---

yes, there are many fishes in the sea.
but its hard to find a good one. an ideal one. your so-called dream fish.
and even if u found one, the fish may just SWIM away.

---

i feel like a loser. loser loser loser.
as i say, muka mcm aku ni siapa yang nak.
but yea, i agree. jodoh terletak di tangan Tuhan.
maybe its not my time yet.
hmm, maybe.. just maybe, my demands are too much. hmm..
then again, until when...?

---

when..? when, really?
i apologise truly if those are just accusations made.
but they're definitely NOT baseless ones.
every conclusion made comes with evidence, be it concrete or just mild.
im tired.
and i bet almost everyone is, too.
mentally sick and tired to think about it, but still searching, and continue searching for the ultimate verdict.

---

perhaps i should just stop thinking too much.
like you said, i can think of other things that are more productive to be thought of.
moreover, other things wont take up so much of my brain juice.

sigh.

2006-11-14T09:43:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, just so suddenly, for that one split second, my heart just melts. I felt sooo sorry.
But the doubts started to came back. Just like that.

So many things said, so many lies heard, so many controversies talked about. A tinge of guilt was always felt whenever it was brought up. At at the same time, i can't bring myself to stop it. I cant stop myself from feeling that way. Why? Why must it be this way..?

I cant stand living like this anymore. Please, PLEASE, i beg of you. Be frank with us.

Dear God, please show us the right path in finding the truth.

2006-11-13T15:21:00.000+08:00

121106 Jalan Raye: RoundTwo=)

----------

dammit.

if i dont have the right to say that, then u dont have the right to slam me like that.

SHEEESH.

whatever la. im not going to let this get into my head that badly.

why the heck are you being so protective..?!

2006-11-13T13:15:00.000+08:00

Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony 2006 =)

from left: hassan, muZz, adilah, yani, baby, rusy, kak zura, liyana, izan, kak yati

back row: fir, rani, khaliq

the jambu girls=)

2006-11-11T21:24:00.000+08:00

Friday-

OP. I stuttered in presentation. And I wasnt anwering the question in QnA. Haix.
Heck la. Its over anyway.

E E B C B E.
Ranking point: 54 (Whatever is THAT?!).
Excellent punctuality record=D.
56 hours of CIP.
PROMOTED.
(Thank God.)

-----------

Saturday-

Morning madness. To sum up my morning- loads of chaos before the submission of InR. Phew. PW IS FINALLY OVERRRRRRR!! Woohooo!

---

Kids. 6 year olds. Simply adorable creatures. No matter how irritating or naughty or hyperactive they can get, no matter how much you scold them, deep down you will still love them.

I think the kindergarten graduation ceremony that was held today in Mujahidin Mosque was a success. It was my second time ‘babysitting’ six-year-olds. I think it is just appropriate for me to help out, as a sense of appreciation to my own teachers there. And of course, to have fun playing with the kids and most importantly, to gain the experience of a lifetime. I mean, how often do you get to play with kids and bond with them? And how often are you able to repsy the services given by the teachers for you to have a good education? During my kindergarten days, graduation was NEVER as fun as today. I’m kinda glad I was able to help out in today’s event, coz even if I cant join in the fun, at least I was able to witness it. Im gonna miss those kids, though.

Random fact: There was this lil cute guy that I was simply attracted to. He’s shy among us helpers, but he’s never quiet among his friends. Fairuz is cute, even when he was crying away coz something happened. Haha. I hope he will grow up to be a good guy.

---

Went CCK after that. My uncle held his daughter’s 1st birthday. She behaved well today. Haha.

----------

Bluub bluub.

viva La VivoCity!

2006-11-11T19:19:00.000+08:00

Two trips to VivoCity in three days.

wheee. hhaaha.

i'll be back tonight. Meanwhile, enjoy~

071106 Tuesday (at the rooftop)

091106 Thursday.

(Obviously MuZz is crazy when she chose enjoyment ONE day before her OP..

wahhahah.. muz muz..)

2006-11-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

He tapped her shoulder. She looked up, and smiled at him. He held her hands and looked into her eyes lovingly. She felt his warmth, as he pulled her closer to him. He hugged her from behind. She closed her eyes, appreciating the affection that was given to her, wishing that it would never end.

Obviously, I just created a fantasy.
Sorry if Ive mislead anyone.
I dont think I did.

----------

I’m sure you have experienced it before. You know, how you are really really looking forward to do something, and when things didnt go according to plan, you just.. crashed. That feeling of hope just died.

But I believed there’s a reason behind it all.
So I’m cooling down now.

----------

Yes. Some guys. To hell with SOME guys. Haha.

Thanks, yea. You will get that table, one day.
And space for it too.
Haha=)

----------

2006-11-07T21:30:00.000+08:00

Blogs.
They give us a freedom of expression, a freedom of speech.
At least, to me.
If some of you arent happy with my blog entries, kindly leave immediately. Coz here is where I rant, bitch, complain, nag, etc whenever I want to=)

----------

Guilt. Yes, guilt. It was the first thing that hit me. I know you dont mean anything bad. But I think other girls would have felt the same too if you told them the exact same thing. It left me in a kinda difficult position. And I hate being left in this kind of situation. But I guess every situation left me with a kind of lesson that I would have never gained if it werent for these situations I’m facing.
What you told me brought me back to the promise I made because of experiences. Telling myself I dont ever wanna be a come-and-go girl in anyone else’s life, I promised to be a friend to you no matter what happens.
And I’m simply having second thoughts now.

I dunno whether you’re gonna read this, but if you do, one question for you, my friend- to let go or hang on to this complicated friendship?
I would still hang on, if you were to ask me. I have no idea whatever for, but I’m not letting go. Unless fate has decided something else for me.

----------

To hell with guys.

ok, SOME guys.

2006-11-06T23:17:00.000+08:00

Pool. Shopping. Pool. Shopping. Pool. Shopping.
Ahahaha. I love pool and shopping=)

Had a third pool session with the two jokers again today. Had a damn good fun. Then went to library, borrowed some comics and books. Then headed to LJS for lunch/dinner.

Met up with abang’s gf after that. Watched her dance practice, then went night-shopping!!! Wheeee!!!
Hahaha. Originally we planned to watch a movie, but there weren’t any nice ones. So we went down to Town instead.
FINALLY! I got my $22 piece from Samuel&Kevin. READ THAT, FizahK!! Heee...
And it’s totally funded by her. WHEEEEEE!! I love her to bits.
$22 piece. Hairclips. Headbands. Girl boxers.=P
I love shopping with her=))

Fun day. But I’m struggling to type now.
Second bro decided to put a password for the other repaired com. So I took this old com, and set it up on the floor. Yes, people. I’m typing this, while lying on my front on the floor.
The cold, hard floor. Pathetic, ey?
But if there’s a will, there’s a way=)

I LoVe PicTuReS=)

2006-11-06T11:01:00.000+08:00

My shopping trip with FizahK. The pics=)

We took this secretly. In the dressing room.

This is what i called REAL window-shopping. heh=P

On the way home, waiting for the mrt. Tired but happy!=)

----------

my cuzzie and me at maternal relative's house. haha.

2006-11-05T17:13:00.000+08:00

Is there really such thing as true love? How much will a person sacrifice for love? A person donated her heart to another woman just because she wants to see her best friend, whom she herself loved, happy with the other one.

Do such things ever happen in real life? I wonder…

----------

There must be imperfections in everyone, be it little or a lot. Just like life is never perfect. Nobody’s perfect. Hence I never try to hate anyone. Coz hate itself is a very dangerous word. At the very worst, I’ll just dislike a person very much or I’ll leave him/her alone.

I always look my imperfections things that make me different from everyone else. Things that are, what I define as, special.
To me, at least.
It is only when you don’t give a heck to craps and comments that people make, that everything else doesn’t matter. Coz you know you can survive with those flaws.

I think complaining is a simple form of expressing oneself out. I dare say that as much as I dislike hearing people complain, I hardly complain to them that they have been complaining a lot coz I myself practise excessive complaining.
( Oops. This sounds complicating.. but.. Whatever u think it is, yea.)
I know I complain a lot. But I will still ponder over things or people who may be more unlucky than me in the things I’m complaining about. And only then will I learn to reduce the amount of complains or, much easier, shut myself up.
Which brings me to the conclusion that for me, complains are done impulsively.

Gee. Whatever was that rant about??!

----------

::WheN SianzSaTioN StriKeS::

2006-11-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

I happened to be online, and this guy whom I have no idea who, came to the scene. I shall now lead u readers to read my uncensored convo..

mike73076@hotmail.com says:
hi
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
umm
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
u are?
mike73076@hotmail.com says:
mike
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
umm...from?
mike73076@hotmail.com says:
19/m
mike73076@hotmail.com says:
Singapore
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
ohh.. what sch?
mike73076@hotmail.com says:
bartley sec
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
okayy..
mike73076@hotmail.com says:
u are 17
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
umm.. yupp
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
19? sec sch? u must be kidding
whowantmebaby says:
i was from that school now i am working as interior designer...
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
ouh..so u're nt schooling nw?
whowantmebaby says:
yes my lady
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
and u said u were from sec sch, so what am i supposed to believe? anw, hw did u get my contacts?
whowantmebaby says:
friendster lady....
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
urgh..stop the lady thing
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
so what do u want?
whowantmebaby says:
gentleman alway respect ladies...
whowantmebaby says:
i just want friendship....
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
then u should respect me and stop the lady thing
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
any pics of u?
whowantmebaby says:
ok
whowantmebaby says:
no
whowantmebaby says:
can i mail to u my pic
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
no. im nt interested anyway
whowantmebaby says:
not today cuz i am working...
whowantmebaby says:
ok i will not disturb u
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
u know what? u shouldn't be chatting while working. and hey, ur nick sounds desperate; are u lonely or something? since u said u will not disturb me, make sure u really wont.
whowantmebaby says:
i have a gf 4 ur info
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
then all the more u shouldnt be talking to me~!
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
unless u're breaking up, that is
whowantmebaby says:
as a friend not wrong and my gf also beside me...
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
ok, so?
whowantmebaby says:
i think u have a bad thinking about me...
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
yes, with a nick like that..
whowantmebaby says:
ok sorry i 4get to change it ...
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
no different. nick's been there. and so what if u change ur nick? i think it wont change my perception about u.
love in rome says:
ok
love in rome says:
bye anyway
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
ok\
love in rome says:
i dont talk or chat with ppl who thinks i am bad....
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
ah, that's a relief
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
i nvr think u're bad, its just that i have a problem with trusting ppl i dunno.
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
so... when r u making ur leave?
love in rome says:
trust is a big word
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
no its not
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
its smaller that aeroplanes
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
aeroplanes got more letters... so trust is kinda small
love in rome says:
once u lose it
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
*than
love in rome says:
its very hard to earn
MuZlzl ::Mono::Chro::Maniac:: chatterbox.the cute drummer(= says:
i thought u dont talk to ppl who have bad impressions on u?

Alright, alright. I hardly behave THAT unfriendly to people, really. In most of the cases, it’s always me adding people up. And I directly turn people off if I really dislike them.
Maybe I’m not interested at all, and I didn’t really bother at that moment.

After all, I WAS having fun. Replying to the IMs with the help of .. Husni! Hahaha. Funny sey. Some of the replies, if not most, were contributed by that joker. Wahaha.
And I was sooo laughing my arse off to the replies.

So.. sorry, bugger. I guess I was kinda freaked out when you IMed me suddenly, when in fact, I deleted you off my contacts.
And I guess I just need some laugh from boredom. Haha.

----------

Now, talking about chatting, I simply could not forget a chat between me and a friend two months ago..
That simple chat- a gullible one you may say- just cannot make me hold back my smile whenever I think about it.

I was swearing...

MuZlzl --> ::Mono::Chro::Maniacs:: .FINALLY.
F ahh
D0Tzzzz...
F?
D0Tzzzz...
FROG?
MuZlzl --> ::Mono::Chro::Maniacs:: .FINALLY.
LOL
MuZlzl --> ::Mono::Chro::Maniacs:: .FINALLY.
F***
D0Tzzzz...
FISH?
MuZlzl --> ::Mono::Chro::Maniacs:: .FINALLY.
hahaha
MuZlzl --> ::Mono::Chro::Maniacs:: .FINALLY.
whatever lah
D0Tzzzz...
F?
MuZlzl --> ::Mono::Chro::Maniacs:: .FINALLY.
suit urself
D0Tzzzz...
Fun?

-_-''
I simply do not believe that friend of mine is THAT gullible. Haha.

MSN and chatting. Do they bring about harm or happiness? Another friend of mine once told me that he dares to say 90% of teenage relationships are caused by the world of Internet- be it MSN or online networking. How true that is, I have no idea. Let the people who fall in love through the Net judge that statement themselves.
Or maybe, anyone can judge it.

----------

“Luck never gives; it only lends.”
~My all-time fav quote~

2006-11-04T09:56:00.000+08:00

cough cough cough.
My voice's kinda okay now. At least better than yesterday.
Thanks to well-wishers. And Shila's strepsils. Heh.

Malay paper yesterday was okay. Managed to answer all questions. Wrote crap in one part of the Kefahaman though. Heck la, it's over anyway.
Dance- usual stuffs. Nothing new.

Slept at 6.30pm in the last evening. Guess i was super exhausted.
Didn't have a good sleep though.. Haix.

----------

i admit i was a lil happy when i found out.
but why the hell for?
its not like a i can own u during that short period of time, right?

Get REAL, MuZz.

311006 Raya Outing Pics Part III =)

2006-11-03T11:58:00.000+08:00

me and fizahC. hee^^

from top: me and the two jokers=) ; me and syafiq;shila and me=) ; group photo at fizah's house; nana and me at her house

I'm rushing for time now; need my rest coz having dance soon! Yay!

2006-11-02T20:30:00.000+08:00

Dance.
Usual stuffs. Twirling, twisting, and shaking. Sweating out.
Yea. Those movements along with the fast beat can really make u lose weight.

Had lunch with Syafiq, Yantee, Mira, the two Fizahs, Nawa, ShiEla&ShILa, and FizahC's Cikgu at Pizza Hut JP.

Then Yantee, Fizahs, Cikgu, Syafiq and me went to watch The Guardian at Marina Square. Kutcher's cute! Lolx. But the ending moved me to tears. Like, tears just started flowing during that part, and I have no idea why.

After movie, Cikgu sent Syafiq to Silat training and the rest of us home.
And here I am, struggling to keep myself alive for tomorrow's MT paper.
With flu, sore throat and cough all at once.
And to complete this perfect recipe, i'm losing my voice.
All the best, MuZz.

----------

I hate this.
I truly hate this.
I hate it when i'm forced to accompany you to sleep.
Can u bloody stop being a baby, for my sake?
For HER sake?
For everyone's sake?
JUST SLEEP LA, DAMMIT!
kau takut ape??!

arghhh...
AKU BENCIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!

---------

Yes, He does have His ways to work this world coz He is the Creator, and i believe He is the Fairest of all.

----------

311006 Raya Pics Part II

2006-11-02T19:43:00.000+08:00

at bus stop heading to Mira's house.

at mira's house.. alamak, why gino and ilyas pose like that??!

me and ShiEla

Nawa's house=) very lawa! lolx

aTeMuZzy and KuYaGno

2006-11-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

-Cause I'm broken
when I'm lonesome
And I dont feel right
when you're gone away-
~part of "broken" lyrics~

I love this song. Haha. Ok, that's random.

----------

Dance today- Learnt new steps for the 25th Anniversary Night. I love the music, although it was fast! We had a hard time synchronising the steps with the music! Haha. And it was just funny, our shoutings and all. Haha.

After dance- Dinner with Yantee, the two Fizahs, ShiEla and Ain at JP. Dah lama tak makan Banquet sey! Heh.

----------

damn.
i hate this. i dont wanna feel this.
of all people? it shouldn't be you.
it's just so wrong.
why why why?
oh hell.
hopefully it's temporary.
no, it WILL be temporary.
sigh.

2006-11-01T20:21:00.000+08:00

Raya Outing yesterday. Whee!

These are some of the pics. Shall upload more next time, coz something seems to be wrong this the blogger, and i cant upload more.

alamak. tak glam la. haha.

nawa and me.. tkkan nak exercise ngan baju kurung, cik kak oii? haha

hajjaR and me

fizahK and me otw to bus stop=)

mira and me

shILa's house

me and ilyas. SYAFIQ SIBUK!

ain and me plus extra background face. sibuk je!

Syafiq's house

2006-11-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

Monday.
Pool.Was.Simply.Great. Haha.
Excluding the fact that i got bored with that teddy bear coz he pocketed so many balls.
But he was a pro. Really. Haha.
More pool next time yea? Heh=)

Then the Morning Peeps went to Syafiq's house upon his invitation. So.. terpulau.. and BIG.. and BEAUTIFUL !! I like! Hahaha..
Makan2. Wahaha.
Laksa was deeelicious=D

Tuesday.
I cant believe im starting to hate differentiation. Haha.
Morning lecture was okay. I managed to make myself stay awake. I guess i just couldnt fall asleep in Mr Chu's lecture. Haha.
"I know why you're late- because you ate too much chocoLATEs right? See, got the -LATE behind the chocoLATEs, that's why you're late."
WHAT THE HELL LA??! Lol. That lecturer is one funny guy.

Jalan raye.
FINALLY! Maknenekz and Pakdatukz full attendance! YAY=D

First up- FizahC's house. I was surprised to see the two jokers there. Haha. So much for leaving before us, yes? Haha. The food was greatt.
Nana's house was next. Had a great laugh when we saw Nana wearing an identical piece of kebaya that ShiEla was wearing. Wahaha. Super funny la..!
Next- Mira's house. More food. And Hakim aka Dangdut was cute! Haha.
Took 179 to Nawa's house next. The route was so.. snaky. Haha.
Yantee's house. Nasib baik dekat rumah Nawa. Haha.
Then we walked to interchange, took 242 to ShiEla's house. Mee goreng was served. Again. (I'm gonna get sick of mee goreng after this. Haha)
Then FizahK's house. Finally, no mee goreng! But macaroni! Lolx=P
Then we walked to ShILa's house. Another high-level house. Scary sey. Hehe.
We decided to make Syafiq's house as the last house.(I cant believe i went to his house again! Lol.) It was kinda late; we reached Syafiq's house at 10pm. We were served mee goreng, but it was the bee hoon type. Watched some of his silat vids. Damn, he is freakin good in silat lah! Truly amazed, man.

So.. that's it. Took a cab home with Ain and FizahK. My house, Azzam's, Ain's, Hajjar's and Ilyas' houses will be visited next time..

One pasta. Many different types of mee goreng. So much fun. So the kecoh.
And soooo soooo tired.
And sick. Haha. I cant stop rubbing my nose. Lol.
But thank God, my prayers were answered and I was able to join them.
Thanks for the fun today, Maknenekz and Pakdatukz=) take care!

----------

It's always the same thing, isn't it? She says "i love u" and "i miss u" to you every day..
So. Im green. But i have no bloody idea why. Its definitely not because of u lovey-dovey couple.
Perhaps it's just over the fact that you've been gettin it alot, and i want that attention from the opposite sex too.
But who cares? I'd rather NOT get it than getting it without sincerity.

----------

I dont wanna be emotionally attached to you.
Not YOU, please.
Its just... wrong.
Oh hell.

----------

"Bodoh, bodoh, bodoh, bodoh! Semua bodoh macam biskut!"

RaYa OuTinG ParT 3

2006-10-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

My third outing in the week=)
And more of those lil' packets. Heh.
And this time, it's with my cousins, aunts and uncles. Yippee!
Home. Jurong. Sembawang. Woodlands. Choa Chu Kang. Home.
And tired. Haha.

If u cant find love, why not let it find you?

2006-10-28T20:44:00.000+08:00

Pics. They never failed to make me smile. These were supposed to be uploaded this morning, but dear computer cocked-up.
So here they are tonight. Enjoy~
----------

maknenekz and pakdatukz inc 2006. the peeps whom i spent most of the time with in JJ=)

060906 shila moyang nawa muzz. where mugging took place. heh.

091006 cicak muzz. badminton session.

111006 syafiq muzz. break fast with makneneks at sakura. together, we created TURTLE PARADES! =)

131006 fizahK muzz shiEla yantee. hairstylists for the night. (mira's behind the scene)

2006-10-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

----------

I love having two dates in one day=))

Had a girls' day out with FizahK first!!
Town was greaaatt!

1st stop: FarEast.
Lunch. Window-shopping.

2nd stop: Metro Paragon.
More window-shopping! Lol.

3rd stop: Marks and Spencer, Paragon
Forked out money and bought CHOCOLATES! weee!
And those tiny bits of belgian chocs with raisins were sooo addictive.
Shall buy it again one day!

4th stop: Samuel and Kevin, Lucky Plaza
MORE window-shopping!!
I WANT THAT $22 piece!!!!

5th stop: Urban Warehouse
MORE MORE window-shopping!
Except that this time, we took one piece of this frilly lil' stuff each and tried them on.
And took pics! Wahaha. Now THAT'S window-shopping=D

6th stop: This Fashion @ Dhoby Ghaut.
The final destination. Haha.
Spent almost an hour there.
Window-shopped like nobody's business.
More camwhoring=)
Finally we bought something for ourselves! Yay!

7th stop: Dhoby exChange.
It's that new shopping spot at the station itself. A cool place, I must say.

And finally we went off..

While she continued her journey home...
I went to SP for a dinner date! Haha..
Met the twinnies, Eva and Evi! And Evi's bf, OCM. and AnQi!
Watched two plays put up by the students there. It was great, the two plays.
Then we had dinner at SP'S Staff Centre, with Zaid joining us.
It was great. We never ran out of jokes and laughters, yea? Haha.
The best thing was, i didn't have to pay for my food. Hee.. thanks Zaid^^
Oh, and since he didn't want his cap, I took it home. Wahaha...
Thanks loadz Fizah for the girls' day out! Shopping is fun! Lolx(=
And thanks loadz Eva and Evi for the dinner invitation. I really had fun(= Till we meet again for another dinner session! Yay!

I'm thankful for the fun I had today=)

ps: Morning Peeps! Shall we go out together again on Monday, as suggested by Shai?? =)

2006-10-26T21:55:00.000+08:00

----------

Im gonna miss Morning Peeps. Heh.

And dear boy, if you're reading this, just wanna let you know that i appreciate u being around=)
And dont ever think of leaving hometown. Cheerios.

Things sorta went haywire after ogl meeting.
It was a horrible plan to go home. I should have just stick to my plan to go out alone.
At least it was much better than facing a wailing clean-up freak and being made a victim of a vent-ing machine.

Yes, im a lazy heartless bitch who always face the computer.
Why dont u just throw me out?
Or how about giving me money for a sex op?
Ok, thats out of range.
Effit effit effit.
Im so vulgar now.

Thank you, for giving me more difficulties.

I promise i'll never fall for you.

2006-10-25T23:37:00.000+08:00

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WHEEEEEEEE!! Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims!

Summing up my day yesterday, I went to only two houses yesterday. Firstly to my maternal grandparents' house. Then i went home and my Ayah's siblings came. After all went off, we went out again to my dad's boss' house in Hougang.

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I was supposed to ice-skate with FizahC and Yantee today, but the price was beyond my expectations and moreover, Ayah managed to rent a car. So I spent my day travelling the whole of S'pore today.
Well, not exactly. Heh.

Woodlands- 3 houses.
Bedok- 1 house.
Toa Payoh- 1 house.
Novena- 1 house.

6 houses. Whee=)

And my mood's soo spoiled now.
The last thing i need is to BABYSIT my 12-YEAR-OLD SISTER to sleep. And great, i really have to do it now.
She's already wailing as if it's still broad daylight.
And i bloody hate it when my mum 'begs' me for help. Eff.
There goes my freedom for tonight.

That's it. Before I myself burst, I'd better get lost.

Toodles, everyone.

Smile more often coz you look nicer that way=)

It's My LiFe

i think this will be my last entry HERE

psychological?

sleep happy

simply striking

great mornings give me a great start to the day(:

hurray to me

i desire

hell for holiday.

a day of delight and doom at night.

(:

sudden random

and i'm so wasting my time now

it's monday

what a week

trivias of the monday *bleahs*

trivias of the monday *bleahs*

dreams

say what??

i cant stop

some stuffs

empty promises, emptiness, three years and one-sided heartbreak

not even the pics could make me smile.

between boredom boring bored

randomness

what's wrong..?

pics of ogl camp and orientation1 !!(:

and so lessons officially starts today`

JJC Orientation o1/ The aLcHemy of Life

the list of things worth reminded for (:

JJ's 25th Anniversary cum Prom Nite=)

exhausted but happy=)

i suddenly think

name call / the plight of an innocent child

the pictures say it all`

the bittersweet sad stupid dream

whats that purple thing?!

tralala~ my phone's back

fill in the blanks

2D1N camp @ ECP=))

each to his or her own opinions

SP Dance and Cheer Waves 11 Concert

THANK YOU, MY FRIENDS<3

Argh!

Straitjacket feeling- All American Rejects

251106 esplanade extravaganza!

RaYa 181106=)

viva La VivoCity!

I LoVe PicTuReS=)

::WheN SianzSaTioN StriKeS::

311006 Raya Outing Pics Part III =)

311006 Raya Pics Part II

RaYa OuTinG ParT 3

trivias of the monday bleahs

trivias of the monday bleahs