My third outing in the week=)
And more of those lil' packets. Heh.
And this time, it's with my cousins, aunts and uncles. Yippee!
Home. Jurong. Sembawang. Woodlands. Choa Chu Kang. Home.
And tired. Haha.
If u cant find love, why not let it find you?
Three words: POOL WAS GREAT. Heh. Thanks Morning Peeps=) .......... Dear diarrhoea, pls go away and come back after raya. .......... I wanna try and understand who you are, really. .......... "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
AiN and thE UnbaKeD CooKieS=) so colourful! and finally.. group pic!=)) .......... "ur heart is closed. means its opening up."
111006 break fast at SakuraCuisine@Ginza! Whee! ps: I think Syafiq makes a good model for Darlie advert! lolx. .......... It's not that I play hard-to-get or anything, but how can I accept someone who is so not my type? Someone who sounds desperate? Someone who isnotfuckenserious in a relationship, and who, as if cant survive if he doesnt have a girl? I wish I have the answers to everything related to love. I guess at the end of the day, i'll just stick to the fact that singletons rocks my life too. Haha. Just get a male best friend, and life can be as greatt as having a guy. Yippee. .......... I miss your voice and the talks we used to have. Things will never be the same again, and we both know it. Ahhh, stoopid me.
At least i still can blog. Phew. But i have no idea how long this luxury will last. Thank God, I had some fun and laughter. Before my mood went downhill. I welcome you- the opening of 'MuzzY SnicKet: A Series of 'Wow' Events" .......... For the first time in my life, I failed Maths exam. Not as serious as some of my friends, but it is a disgrace to me. Wow. Expected: failed physics. Found out minutes after I got my Maths result. Double Wow. I couldnt join my friends in the journey to enjoyment just because of an hour of PW lecture. Thank you, Adrian, for busting my plan. My one-plus months computer has gone *boom*. And so it is unusable. Until it is repaired. Which will probably be few weeks later. Maybe months. THERE GOES EVERYTHING- my pics, projects, script, beautiful convos with beautiful ppl... noooooooo.... Sucky connection. Computer loves to lag. Thanks loads, computer. OP slides had to be done by Wednesday. How I wished PW is dead over. Haix. To top it all, the lousy feelings are coming back, although I forced myself not to feel this way. I dread doing it every day. .......... I’m deprived from happiness. For this week at least. Or maybe for the coming weeks. Maybe even months. Maybe MuZz is in need of psychiatric help. If anyone has any relation with psychiatrists from preferably NUH, please contact MuZz at this blog. Thank you. *Dear God, Please give me the stregth to live.*
10/28/2006 09:15:00 PM
So here they are tonight. Enjoy~
----------
maknenekz and pakdatukz inc 2006. the peeps whom i spent most of the time with in JJ=).0.jpg)
060906 shila moyang nawa muzz. where mugging took place. heh..0.jpg)
091006 cicak muzz. badminton session.
111006 syafiq muzz. break fast with makneneks at sakura. together, we created TURTLE PARADES! =).0.jpg)
131006 fizahK muzz shiEla yantee. hairstylists for the night. (mira's behind the scene)
10/28/2006 08:44:00 PM
I love having two dates in one day=))
Had a girls' day out with FizahK first!!
Town was greaaatt!
1st stop: FarEast.
Lunch. Window-shopping.
2nd stop: Metro Paragon.
More window-shopping! Lol.
3rd stop: Marks and Spencer, Paragon
Forked out money and bought CHOCOLATES! weee!
And those tiny bits of belgian chocs with raisins were sooo addictive.
Shall buy it again one day!
4th stop: Samuel and Kevin, Lucky Plaza
MORE window-shopping!!
I WANT THAT $22 piece!!!!
5th stop: Urban Warehouse
MORE MORE window-shopping!
Except that this time, we took one piece of this frilly lil' stuff each and tried them on.
And took pics! Wahaha. Now THAT'S window-shopping=D
6th stop: This Fashion @ Dhoby Ghaut.
The final destination. Haha.
Spent almost an hour there.
Window-shopped like nobody's business.
More camwhoring=)
Finally we bought something for ourselves! Yay!
7th stop: Dhoby exChange.
It's that new shopping spot at the station itself. A cool place, I must say.
And finally we went off..
While she continued her journey home...
I went to SP for a dinner date! Haha..
Met the twinnies, Eva and Evi! And Evi's bf, OCM. and AnQi!
Watched two plays put up by the students there. It was great, the two plays.
Then we had dinner at SP'S Staff Centre, with Zaid joining us.
It was great. We never ran out of jokes and laughters, yea? Haha.
The best thing was, i didn't have to pay for my food. Hee.. thanks Zaid^^
Oh, and since he didn't want his cap, I took it home. Wahaha...
Thanks loadz Fizah for the girls' day out! Shopping is fun! Lolx(=
And thanks loadz Eva and Evi for the dinner invitation. I really had fun(= Till we meet again for another dinner session! Yay!
I'm thankful for the fun I had today=)
ps: Morning Peeps! Shall we go out together again on Monday, as suggested by Shai?? =)
10/27/2006 11:09:00 PM
Im gonna miss Morning Peeps. Heh.
And dear boy, if you're reading this, just wanna let you know that i appreciate u being around=)
And dont ever think of leaving hometown. Cheerios.
Things sorta went haywire after ogl meeting.
It was a horrible plan to go home. I should have just stick to my plan to go out alone.
At least it was much better than facing a wailing clean-up freak and being made a victim of a vent-ing machine.
Yes, im a lazy heartless bitch who always face the computer.
Why dont u just throw me out?
Or how about giving me money for a sex op?
Ok, thats out of range.
Effit effit effit.
Im so vulgar now.
Thank you, for giving me more difficulties.
I promise i'll never fall for you.
10/26/2006 09:55:00 PM
WHEEEEEEEE!! Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims!
Summing up my day yesterday, I went to only two houses yesterday. Firstly to my maternal grandparents' house. Then i went home and my Ayah's siblings came. After all went off, we went out again to my dad's boss' house in Hougang.
----------
I was supposed to ice-skate with FizahC and Yantee today, but the price was beyond my expectations and moreover, Ayah managed to rent a car. So I spent my day travelling the whole of S'pore today.
Well, not exactly. Heh.
Woodlands- 3 houses.
Bedok- 1 house.
Toa Payoh- 1 house.
Novena- 1 house.
6 houses. Whee=)
And my mood's soo spoiled now.
The last thing i need is to BABYSIT my 12-YEAR-OLD SISTER to sleep. And great, i really have to do it now.
She's already wailing as if it's still broad daylight.
And i bloody hate it when my mum 'begs' me for help. Eff.
There goes my freedom for tonight.
That's it. Before I myself burst, I'd better get lost.
Toodles, everyone.
Smile more often coz you look nicer that way=)
10/25/2006 11:37:00 PM
10/23/2006 09:20:00 PM
Firstly, thanks Syafiq for making me smile, though its just for a short moment=)
..........
It was raining heavily while I was on my way home from class.
"If u wanna know how much I miss u, try catching raindrops. The ones u catch is how much u miss me, and the ones u miss is how much i miss u."
I teared upon remembering those words.
Still fresh in my mind, though its been ages ago.
Confusion has taken control of undefined feelings.
Why must I be sad over it?
Why do I feel funny when I see your name mentioned by her?
Or am I just plain green over the fact that you HAVE someone and I DONT?
..........
The Loneliness- Babyface
Im sitting here
Thinking bout
How im gonna do without
You around in my life and how am I
I gon' get by
I ain't got no days
Just lonely nights
You want the truth
Well girl im not alright
Feel out of place and out of time
I think im gonna lose my mind
So tell me how you feel (im lonely)
Are you for real (so lonely)
Do you still think of me (i think of you)
Baby still (are you lonely)
Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time)
So let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)
Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)
Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)
I think that i will never love again
I miss your face
I miss your kiss
I even miss the arguments
That we would have from time to time
I miss you standing by my side
I'm dying here its clear to see
There ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me
Don't wanna live, I wanna die
If I cant have you in my life
So tell me how you feel (im lonely)
Are you for real (so lonely)
Do you still think of me (i think of you)
Baby still (are you lonely)
Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time, so lonely)
Oh let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)
Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)
Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)
I think that I will never love again
This song potrays a man's feeling, but I can almost connect to this song...
..........
You told me once that you dont see a reason why a relationship should affect a friendship. Well, the fact is, it does. The extent depends on how the friendship goes.
Ours is more than just a friendship. And you know it.
How can I keep this friendship going, when all we ever do is to communicate through the phone?
And now that you are taken, it just makes the whole situation difficult, doesnt it?
To you, there seems to be nothing wrong in talking to someone you have never met before.
But I'm stopping. Well, I'm trying to. And it looks like I'm progressing.
We can always message each other. But now that you have her again, I'm sure she'll be a better company.
I just don't have the power anymore.
And I dont wanna hope for the second time.
..........
Left Outside Alone- Anastacia
All my life
I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay, I don't feel safe
I don't feel safe...
Left broken empty in despair
Want to breathe, can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way
And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone...
I tell ya..
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay, I don't feel safe
I need to... pray
Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There's not much more to say
But I hope you find a way
Still I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
I tell ya...
All my life
I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay, I don't feel safe
I need to pray
And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
All my life
I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay, I don't feel safe
I need to.. pray
..........
"Love wont bloom with shadows of lies.."
10/22/2006 08:58:00 PM
Had a dream last night.
And of all people, the two jokers must be in it.
Haha.
Weird weird dream.
..........
Baked cookies again today=)
Then met up with Zaid today to give him his bday present.
Boy, he IS a Billabong freak. Haha.
Hope u enjoyed the bday prezzie, boy! And we shall go shopping together one day, yes?=))
For the second time this week, i travelled to Pasir Ris.
This time with my sis.
Then accompanied my aunt to Geylang.
(Eh, Shai! I travelled to Geylang finally! Haha!)
She bought curtains while I managed to get a baju kurung for my younger bro.
Went back to Pasir Ris.
Rested. And finally I reached home at 11pm..
..........
Here..
Bored la, just sth to be put up...
Heh. enjoy reading it!
LAST PERSON THAT
1. Slept in your bed: my sex partner. NOT! hee.. me lah bodoh!
2. Saw you cry: God i guess.
3. Made you cry: umm.. no one made me cry. i cry coz i want to.
4. Went to the movies with you: gosh, that was a long time ago.. like, months ago?
5. You went to the mall with: myself. heh.
6. You went to dinner with: my aunt and sis.
7. You talked on the phone: zaid.
8. Said 'I love you' to you and really meant it: umm.. dunno leh. nobody wants me.
9. Broke your heart: umm.. dunno la.
10. Made you laugh: husni. lol.
WOULD YOU RATHER
1. pierce your nose or tongue? NEITHER
2. be serious or be funny? >see the situation first.
3. drink whole or skim milk? >whole la.
4. die in a fire or drown? >whichever one im fated to
5. spend time with your parents or go down on someone? >go down on someone...?
ARE YOU
1. simple or complicated? >i think im a simple girl with a complicated mind.=)
2. Gay? >of coz im gay!
3. Hardcore? >hardcore what?
4. Honest? >see the situation first.
DO YOU PREFER
1. flowers or angels? >flowers=)
2. gray or black? >black.
3. Color or Black and white photos? >colour.
4. lust or love? >love.
5. sunrise or sunset? >sunset.
6. M&Ms or Skittles? >M&Ms!!
7. rap or rock? >rock.
8. staying up late or waking up early? >staying up late.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
1. do you like anyone? >Yes, i like my friends
2. do they know it? >shld be lah.
DO YOU PREFER
1. being hot or cold? >hot.
2. sun or moon? >moon
3. Winter or Fall? >fall
4. left or right? >right
5. having 10 acquaintances who will have sex with you or having two best friends? <>TWO BEST FRIENDS, pls.
6. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? >choc duhh
7. boys or girls? >can i say boys. but both will be great=))
8. vodka or Jack? >Jack? what Jack?
ABOUT YOU
What time is it? >12.05am
Name? >MuZz
Nickname(s)? >MuZz is one of them
WHAT DO YOU WANT
Where do you want to live? >spore.
What kind of job do you want? >teacher. if not psychologist. heh.
Do you want to get married? if im fated to.
UNIQUE
1.Nervous Habits? >i mix up my sentences.
2. Are you double jointed? >what the..?
3. Can you roll your tongue? >yupp!
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? >nope
5.Can you cross your eyes? >think so.
6. Do you make your bed daily? >yupp
CLOTHES, ETC
1.Which shoe goes on first? >depends lor.
2.On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? >if im super broke, ZERO
3. What jewelry do you wear? necklaces
FOOD
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl and cut
2. Have you ever eaten Spam: isnt that a virus?
3. Favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate=)
4. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? umm.. two or more.
5. What's your favorite beverage? iced milo.
6. What's your favorite restaurant? fast food i guess.
7. Do you cook? instant noodles. the basic=)
GROOMING
1. How often do you brush your teeth? >morning/night.
2. How is your hair for the most part? >messed up
3. Have you ever dyed/highlighted your hair? >nope
MANNERS
1. Do you swear? >yes when im pissed.
2. Do you ever spit? >umm.. once in a blue moon ah
3. You cook your own food? >when there really isnt any food at home.
4. You do your own chores? >sometiemes.
5. You got paid today? >nope.
6. You like beef jerky? >huh?
7. You like pepsi or coke? >anything will do. but i dont really drink carbonated drinks.
8. You plan on going to college? >alrdy in one=) junior one! lol.
9. You're happy with your hair? >YUPP!
10. You own a dog? >never.
11. You spend your money wisely? >heh. not really.
12. You're always making new friends? >umm.. yeap.
13. You like to swim? >kinda.. aiya so long nvr go swmming.
14. Have you ever got so bored you called a friend? >yupp
15. You like this survey? >err.. just doing it coz im feeling bored.
LET'S BE HONEST
In the last month have you...
1. Had a bf/gf? >uh.. dunno le.
2. Bought something? >yupp
3. Sang in the shower? haha.. nope.
4. Been kissed? >nope
5. Felt stupid? >yes. VERY
6. missed someone? >yupp
7. Got drunk? >haha nope.
8. Gotten high? >yupp=D
9. Danced crazy? >YUPP.. MASS DANCE!!!
..........
Come on la. Stop being selfish will you? Have you ever thought bout HER feelings?
Gee. Im so hating myself bcoz I know it's none of my concern- yet I wanna help, but I just dunno how.
This is what happens when I lack the experience.
..........
Its just my fantasy.
I cant believe I even thought bout it.
I cant believe that I would even BOTHER to ponder bout it.
Haix.
This is what happens when I cant control my thoughts.
10/22/2006 12:26:00 AM
Tampines.
Pasir Ris.
Tampines Mall.
Home.
Hectic day.
Tired.
Drained.
Kinda emotionally and mentally affected.
But i wont rant fully, dont worry.
Ive kinda lost the energy for today.
..........
It was half expected. When you told me, i somehow predicted something's gonna happen. And *poof*. it really did. You cant let her go huh.. But heyy, its your life, your choice and you do whatever you think is right. I dont have the power to interfere. And moreover, Im still holding on to my stand.
Im moving on just fine=)
10/19/2006 09:40:00 PM
Mummy reminded and I remembered.
But I still remembered alot of things.
I remembered you always brought us to outings.
Orchard, Wild2 Wet, Escape Theme Park, Ice skating rinks, holidays overseas.. etc etc..
I miss the times you gave us treats.
I miss the times you brought us out.
I always thought that I will get a chance to be brought to Perth by you, after Abang Apiz and Abang Aki. But.. I guess it will neither happen now nor in the future. It will never happen.
The rest may not remember.
But Mummy did.
Happy Birthday, dear Aunt Norlela.
May you be happy wherever you are.
You are still my aunt no matter what happens.
10/18/2006 09:06:00 PM
..........
141006 my house=).jpg)
after completing everything.. just chillin' out infront of the fan.. 
this one ahh.. diorang nyer muka mahal sgt (direct translation: their faces too expensive).. haha
huh?
whatever that means.
define it for me, somebody.
10/17/2006 11:41:00 PM
..........
Yes, i guess the both of you are waiting for the time to come, yes?
When we live in darkness at night and buy takeaways everytime?
Stick it to YOUR way then.
And don't blame me should there be a day I don't call you when Im outside.
Or worse still, I run away.
Wait. Maybe not until to that extent. I still love my bed.
Stubborn- headed. Both do NOT want to give way. Though it's not MY problem, I'm still affected. I'm still the victim in this silent war. I'm still involved in a way or another.
You ever said that I am emotionless everytime you tell me the stories.
The fact is, I'm NOT. I just dont wanna break down infront of you. Im different from abang. Thus sometimes I cry myself to sleep. But you will never know, coz I dont ever wanna show you that I'm sad over such stuffs. Enough of what you yourself are going through; I dont wanna add the burden. I know you're still holding on, coz of me. Coz of us, your 5 dearest.
Sometimes i cant help but being rude to you. But i cant control myself. And I always say and do things without thinking. And Im the clumsiest and laziest of all. Say all those things to me, though you know I cant accept them with an open heart. But deep down I know it is for my own good. It is for my own good.
When will this game end? Arent you tired of playing it?
Dear God, please give me the stregth to face them all. Amin..
..........
Im sorry. Im just sorry.
Though its always the case where nothing works out anymore, and its for the good of the two individuals.
Im just sorry that now the wishes wont be fulfilled.
.........
Am i too choosy, or izzit just not my time yet?
10/15/2006 09:32:00 PM
And i couldnt really stand him during orientation.. Haha...
Few years later, we were fated to meet again in the same school.
I couldn't believe that he managed to recognise me though it had been long. Haha.
And so we survived in the same class for four years, knowing each other better as days passed.
Until now i STILL don't believe he has never worn braces before. Lolx.
Oh well, memories of old times. Maturity has taken place for both of us.
HAPPY 17th BIRHDAY Zaid =)
I miss your smile la. Haha.
We'll keep in touch yea? All the best in your life. Don't let setbacks in life bring you down=)
..........
Dance was ok today. It ended early, though we started late.
Please, people, if u're not coming or gonna be late, at least inform Yantee through sms, k? It doesn't harm you, right?
Haiyo.. tk psl2, aku yg kecoh sey.
After dance, Ain and Mira joined me to home for a baking session. Whee! Mira was so high bout it. Haha..
Chocolate chip cookies and M&M cookies were on the list today!! Yumyum!!
Mummy and Beelah helped in weighing of the flour and all, but it was us who moulded the cookies and I had to "look after them" while they were in the oven.
Nawa joined us halfway... while we were doing the M&M cookies.. haha.. kecoh sey! For those who are bored with normal circular-shaped cookies, please seek Nawa. She will make a good consultant, giving you tips on different heights, length, width and shapes of your cookies. Haha.
Overall, we took 5 hours to complete everything.
Camwhoring was not missed, as usual.
After everything was done, we lepak-ed for a lil while longer, before they headed home.
Having shoulder ache now.
But the satisfaction of baking cookies by ourselves still lingers in me=)
..........
#&$^ im tired of these feelings.
10/14/2006 10:22:00 PM
The blue-uniform school peeps were the common ones.
Alot sey! Haha.
Met FizahK, ShiEla, Mira and YanTee at 6+pm. Headed to NTU/NIE for an unpaid job as hairstylists for dancers from MLCS at NIE. Mira's sis called us down.
KFC for dinner!! Wheeee!
It was great, destroying the hair of other peepz. Lol. Well, we did 'destroy' their hair, especially those with rebonded hair. The effects were nice and i think we did a good job, right darlings?=)
Their dance was nice. And the items we watched were great too. Especially the one before the dance- the band performance. Ooo the drummer was gooood. Haha.
No pics on that event for now. Shall post them when i get them=)) Meanwhile, here are some random pics!
Yay!.jpg)
300906 Mugging in progress. Maths. Ahh.. 
Do people like me really suck at love?
Well, perhaps it's just not the right time yet.
Though i'll get green with jealousy when i see couples.
10/13/2006 11:48:00 PM
After sooooooo long.
There were loads of debates about the dance movements.
That's what happened when there were no practice for three weeks or so.
Haha...
After Dance, we headed to Ginza Plaza to break fast, along with Syafiq and Cikgu and ShiEla.
If only Mira and Nana could join us.. Haix.
Bila nak full attendance lagi nii??
Loads of kecoh-ness, as usual.. From Cicak's naggings to laughters (esp Moyang. ish2..)
We went our separate ways after that. The rest went home.. me, YanTee, ShiEla and FizahK didn't feel like heading home yet, so went to Coffee-Bean JP and have a nice long chat. Heh.
Yay. MuZz had fun today=) Alhamdullilah...
..........
I feel that we are all involved in a drama which will end one day but is unknown of the deadline.
Please, i beg of you, remove the mask if you are wearing one.
Dear God the Almighty, please guide us in searching for the truth.
..........%20of%20290706%20informality.jpg)
PPP '06 =)
10/11/2006 11:08:00 PM
10/09/2006 07:39:00 PM
I cant seem to switch on my other computer!!!
Damn.
So much for wanting to post some random pics.
Grr.
And it doesnt help that my head is thumping like nobody's business since I woke up from a nap.
Dear headache, please go away. I dont need this right now.
.....
I miss my eldest bro.
I wished he would come back sooner.
And make things right.
I believe he can make things right.
Haix.
.....
Why do I feel ached when your name is mentioned? When in fact, you have nothing to do with me anymore. It’s useless telling myself time and again that you are just another fish in the sea. Perhaps its because you left such an impact in my life, though a meeting between us never happened. I really missed those times when we talked. But now, I guess I shouldn’t bother you anymore, huh? Its just… not right. It is never right. Though it looks fine to you. Now things seem to be going up between the two of you. Thank God. But my doa for you will never stop.
I hate it when I’m feeling this way.
“If someone’s meant to be yours, the person will be yours eventually.”
10/08/2006 07:03:00 PM
I think I woke up at the wrong side of the bed today.
All the time I was complaining, shouting and whining for god-knows-what reasons.
All finally, I just broke down.
And I just felt instantly better. Heh.
..............................
Firstly, soo sowie to YanTee for not being able to make it for dance this morning. I went back to dreamland after receiving ur first sms, saying that there wasn't any dance today. Then I read the following sms only at 11+ am.. I guessed dah tak sempat.. so.. yea.
Secondly, bday wishes:
HAPPY BELATED 18th BDAY, Sir Huzaifah (061006) ! Dah besar, jgn nak loyar buruk lagi ngan aku tau. Heh.
HAPPY 17th BDAY to Hafidz. May you be successful in whatever u do! All the best! =)
HAPPY 23rd BDAY Kak Ninie! Heehee.. semoga panjang umur murah rezeki dan bahagia di samping keluarga dan yang tersayang.. Lol. Macam nak kahwin lak.
..............................
Had Iftar at my grandfather's house today. Was reluctant to go, but thinking about how rare me and my relatives meet every year, I decided to just go with my mum and sis. There was lotsa food as usual=)) . And whoa, I wished we only spent just a short moment there after breaking fast. Mummy was practically telling everyone about how much I've put on weight. Sheesh. One of my aunts was saying something like, "Yana..! E eh... Besar betul kau eh.. tengok tu. Muka dah berjerawat. Badan pun dah naik.." It's like as if she met me for the first time in my whole 17 years. -_-"
I'm supposed to be studying for madrasah exam now.
I.guess.I'm.just.plain.lazy.hehe.
Hmm..
Ok.. I will at least read the chapters later. At least I won't feel that bad. Yay.
..............................
A chat with a friend last night got me thinking.
Friend: Does it really matter what ppl think of u? Does it really change the way u view urself, what true friends think of u? ... All i can offer is that u stay true to urself.
Does it matter, really? Does being labelled "a bitch, act-cute girl, attention-seeker, weird girl, a flirt etc" affects me that terribly?
Well, I don't think so, for now.
I sort-of managed to immune myself to these stuffs, the labels and all.
So I told that friend, "I Love myself the way I am now. So what if I "act cute"? It was never an act. It's just me. A childish side of me, maybe.
I always look at my flaws as 'specialities'.. they're what that make me different from the rest.
All I want them to be is that, they should be direct to me if they dont like me. Then I'll stay far, far away from them whenever possible. I love myself, and I shouldn't let these things bring me down. Though it can't be denied that they hurt, I've learnt to move on with life."
And I'm still learning to move on.. and to love myself. And I believe I still have friends who are there for me when I need them.
Like the Makneneks, for instance=) . Only God knows how grateful I am to have them around me and how much I appreciate it when they lent me their shoulders to cry on.
There were also the MIB Dotz, my dearest friends from secondary school.
All these people gave me a reason to stay strong during the hell i've been through in life. And of course. I believe that no matter what happens, God is always there for me.
"I asked Him for strength and He gave me difficulties to make me stronger."
Well, something for whoever out there:
I never asked to be born this way. Everyone has his flaws. I don't mind you disliking me (if u even do in the first place) coz I've been through these kinds of shit before.
"Aku jaga tepi kain aku. Kau jaga tepi kain kau. Pergi mampus sudah."
- a line from Jon's script; PPP '06
10/07/2006 11:45:00 PM
Finally.FINALLY promos are over.
And i'm soooooo worried about my geog and physics.
And my A for maths is sooooo gone. Stoopid killer paper.
And my GP is a gone-case paper too. Haix.
So, it's not a happy moment after all. But everyone deserves to enjoy for the next few days, yes? After hours, days and nights of mugging in the library. I didn't mug as much as them though. Heh.
~ThE EmoTioNaL TurBuLenCe ThaT I WenT ThrOuGh oNe-aNd-a-HaLf-weEks BeFoRe PrOmoS WaS DeFiNiTeLy HeLL FoR Me~
Went back to school and headed to Fajar Sec with Michelle for some publicity event there. The response from the students wasn't that good, but whatever, as least we did our job. And we met Gary!!! Haha.. *miss him lots*. At mid-noon, it was a movie marathon at Yantee's house with FizahCicak.
Well, not exactly a movie marathon; we only watched The Devil Wears Prada and Just Like Heaven. It was only then I realised how beautiful Reese Witherspoon is. Lol. But that one was really sweet. And i teared at one part of the movie. Heh.
~ To FiZaH and MiRa aNd AiN toO (i think), hoPe u HaD fUn WaTcHinG 'JoHn TucKeR MuSt Die' WiTh ShiMaH !!=) ~
And so here i am now.
Rotting.
Mummy asked me to take care of my sis.
So much for wanting to terawih today.
Sheesh.
/everytime your name is mentioned by her, my heart thumps in a funny way. yikes./
10/06/2006 08:54:00 PM
After a day of searching blogskins, touch-ups here and there..
VOILA! my new blogskin! heh.
Thanks LOADZ to:
::Diana and Shirin for the guidance
::FizahK and Husni for helping out by answering my questions
yay!
+MuZz is satisfied+
=)
10/06/2006 08:24:00 AM
10/05/2006 02:26:00 PM
