for being careless and forgetful.
and for losing the most expensive calculator that i've ever come across.
yepp.the graphic calculator.
and my maths test is just around the corner. bleahs.
so many tests coming up!
---
i guess im kinda coping with it.
but im still not talking to them properly yet.
and it irks me when, at certain times i feel like going online all of a sudden and i know i cant.
----
i know one day, all our scars will disappear, like the stars at dawn
and all of our pain, will fade away when morning comes
and on that day when we look backwards we will see, that everything is changed
and all of our trials, will be as milestones on the way
and as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart
and there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends
on that day all of the scales will swing to set all the wrongs to right
all of our tears, and all of our fears will take to flight
but until then all of our scars will still remain, but we've learned that if we'll
open the wounds and share them then soon they start to heal
as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart
and there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends
we must see that every scar is a bridge, and as long as we live
we must open up these wounds
when some one stands in your shoes and will shed his own blood
there's no greater love. we must open up our wounds
---
"i like you. i can like you can't i? you don't have to like me."
-from a book
--- its what i do almost every day.
sudden random
- really- SOME.
2/27/2007 09:08:00 AM
Me: well
its up to individuals
Babe: hahah
yeahh..
): cheeeerrrr up.
haha
Me: haha
no worries la
Babe: dun worry.
u have me (:
and chocolates
Me: haha
yes
tnx babe!
------
120107
Richie: time is the best healer
: D
its true
haha
Me: YUPP
time heals everything
-----
170107
Me: u knw that online offline thingy u did for public on new year?
hw'd u do it???
Husni: uh
status
appear offline
thn online
thn off
thn on
thn off
thn on
thn off
thn on
thn off
thn on
thn off
Me: okay okay
Husni: lol
Me:
LOL
I get the msg
hahaha
-----
170207
Me: ppl irritate me and i get pissed off easily
thiha: which ass irritate u?
i take care of him for u
tell me
XD
Me: haha
-----
010207
9:26:41 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
g tukar nick kw
9:26:52 PM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ boulder.batu.pebbLe!
asl lak?
9:26:55 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
kepale batu granite cement limestone marble
9:26:59 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
=D
9:26:59 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
haha
9:27:00 PM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ boulder.batu.pebbLe!
LOL
9:27:02 PM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ boulder.batu.pebbLe!
hahahhaha!
9:27:06 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
aku selalu ckp kwn aku gituk
9:27:10 PM
[c=4][a=1][i][b]CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS, HuZaI HaTe YoU ™ [/b][/i][/a=1][/c]
kalau diorg degil
-----
020107
1:04:37 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
i got alot of cravings now la
1:04:42 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
awww
1:04:51 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
i gt alot of cravings but no cash
1:04:53 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
ahahaha
1:05:22 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
craving for brownie from secret recipe, caramel ice blended frm starbucks, oreo cheesecake frm cafe galilee
1:05:31 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
cadbury chocolate
1:05:40 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
just had cadbury just nw
1:05:53 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
haha
1:06:02 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
i had it ytd n de day b4
1:06:23 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
nw that uve said it, i feel like getting iced blended mocha frm starbucks, that brownie from coffee bean and cookis from famous amos
1:06:29 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
hahha
1:06:31 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
eh same!
1:06:37 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
ahh... famous amos!
1:06:39 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
smlm aku mkn cadbury tuu tk stop sey
1:06:44 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
oh
1:07:00 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
and that chocolate muffin from coffee bean too!!!
1:07:19 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
n chocolate waffle frm prima deli
1:07:36 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
AHH YESSS
1:07:55 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
and oh, that chocolate thingy from jollybean
1:08:13 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
*drools*
1:08:30 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
wahaha
1:08:39 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
pagi2 buta cravings eh
1:08:58 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
wahaha
1:09:01 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
yalor!
1:10:08 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
chocolate
1:10:12 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
merci chocs
1:10:22 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
haagen dazs
1:10:22 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
belgian chocs!!!
1:10:31 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
HAHA
1:10:37 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
was abt to say sth like that!
1:11:15 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
woah... i still can feel the insides of the belgian choc flowing out right after i put the choc in my mouth
1:11:20 AM
ƒîzªh Happy New Year!
heavenly babey!!!!
1:12:17 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
SHHHH
1:12:18 AM
_+:: muZz :: monochromaniac ::+_ HerEverLivingFantasiesIngrained is DEAD in her dictionary.
lol
>>and those are the pleasures of life which i cant help but reminiscing.
and they are what that keeps me smiling at home.
2/26/2007 12:13:00 PM
could have been for you too if you were in my shoes.
[written on 170206]
you say i'm emotionlesss? hurhur.
they make me insecure. threatening to strip off the freedom of me using this dear old com of mine. the freedom of using the internet totally.
is this a retribution for me? for not doing all that they want me to?
is this what im supposed to be getting? after all that bullying and jokes-that-are-funny-to-them-but-not-to-me?
damndamndamn. im tired of living.
in the house that is.
chatting with my friends was my only way to stop thinking of my stupid problem. i feel you are the only one who cares to listen for now. you once said something like, "i'd rather listen to other people's problems". and yes, the past days and weeks, even months, you have been a great listener, a great help at times. and i'm sure you know who you are. talking is you is like being in a theraupatic session. it kinda calms me down. i feel the sincerity when you offer your listening ear, but i can't help wondering all of a sudden- have you ever had this oh-no-here-she-goes-again feeling? it applies to all my friends too, when i confide in them. i cant help wondering this way. im sorry for my insecurities.
nevertheless, i really appreciate for all the listening ears i've gotten. especially yours.
i'm afraid. no more letting it out typewritten. no more frequent blogs and bloghopping.
i badly need someone to listen to my cries now.
the right person.
'fading hope'? my hope is fading, alright.
and no worries, it's no sad case. for my own good.
*****
[180207]
fuckfuckfuck.
the Net is like my lifeline.
and they're taking it away from me.
it fucking hurts when you said that.
AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGH!!!!! PFFFFFFFFTT !#$%^&*
i feel depressed='(
i miss confiding. i miss letting it out.
to the right person. to the right person.
please don't get bored with me for now.
******
[190207]
i dont see the purpose in having a family gathering, when not all the families went. moreover it was raining in the afternoon.
so did i enjoy it? not really. i went back to my old self the moment i came back home.
to them, to some even, this may not be a big deal.to me, it IS.
i really miss chatting. with all my friends. with my 'rocks'. with fizahK. with thiha.
especially with sak. on our last chat she was telling me about moving to m'sia to continue her studies there instead.
for a computer addict like me, this sucks big time.
='(
^we'll die if our wings dont grow at all.^
and so this song kept me company for the whole night.
//staring at the blank screen, wishing that it wouldnt affect me so badly.
im sorry. i tried.
*****
[200207]
i keep having this funny feeling.. like- my mind goes, "i can't wait to go online tonight and chat with so-and-so" or "i think i'm gonna go bloghop/friendster-hop later" and moments later it'll go "eff, i can never do it."
i dunno why the fuck i'm still brooding over this.
i'm clueless to why i'm not dried up of tears yet. my eyes feel sore. umm.
kuyaGino still has that song to be sent to me.
syafiq has yet to send me that picture.
i have yet to send someone a file which needs to be printed.
i still have yet to continue my convo with sak.
i dunno where myself went to.
i've lost quite some stuffs already.
i wonder if i'll lose them.
but at the same time i feel embarassed to ask help from them.
idunnowhattodo..
='(
*****
today [210207]
i cant help it.
everytime i think about it, it'll almost bring me to tears.
i dunno how im gonna get over this.
glad you know it's hard. thank you for understanding its not gonna be easy for me to cope with this.
i'm just waiting for the time when i can accept the reality.
come on, Muz. move on.
2/21/2007 09:15:00 AM
and the smart ones too, maybe.
people always say when there's no one else in the world to back you up, they are the only ones who will be by your side.i wonder how true it is.
for all the the plus points, there are definitely some minus points every day.
at least, it happens in my life. today was no exception.
thanks ain for the movie treat(:
thanks fizahK and shimah for the company(:
~ fine, im not one of yours.
dammmn it hurts.
i try to convince myself they're just little jokes. but it still fucking hurts.
blame me for being oversensitive.
or perhaps it's simply pilih kasih.
i wonder why i even bother to dine out.~
to you it may sound normal and it's just "asking questions". to me it's called "not realising that you have crossed the line and intrude in others' private life just to satisfy your curiosity"
different people have different perspectives over different issues that happen in different lives.
i suddenly remembered an incident- he was the subject of the joke. and he kept mum after that, when we were still laughing about it. till now i still think we went kinda overboard and i'm sorry for that.
what may seem as a normal joke to you may be seen as an over-the-limit joke to the other party. i wonder if you yourself realise that on certain times, people whom you question or made fun of felt uneasy. same like asking questions. sometimes we just have to repect the other side's decision
of not telling stuffs that are considered as open issues to you but a private one to them.
i feel we are not who we used to be anymore.
---
i'll drive away unnecessary feelings.
let us continue to be friends(:
2/17/2007 01:18:00 AM
Didnt expect anything from anyone though. Still, i received- belgian choc from Ain, choc pie(or was it muffin?) from Yantee, FamousAmos cookies from MdmAzah[totally unexpected! lol],chocs from NanaBuggy, sweets from Kaiting, MnMs from SiokHui, lollies from Anisa & Wenlin, more chocs from Huiqi, and Hershey's from Suteng. LOTSA THANKS PEEPS!
So it was a day of delight and doom at night.
bashed up. fucked up.
--
And i got Thiha a Hershey's bar today. with him, yesterday we had a funny chat on msn.
haha. thanks loads dude, really appreciate it(:
random: im hungry now. off to eat.
2/15/2007 10:35:00 AM
TOMORROW'S FRIENDSHIP DAY!
lol.
2/13/2007 05:00:00 PM
to her--
gerl!! takecare!
and if u need a listening ear, im still alive here aite! *HUGE HUGS* *MUACKX* smile dearie!(:
to the rest of the people involved in Chingay--
i know you guys are uber tired.. but rest well aite, people? hope to see you there!
what karo wrote on her blog, i so agree with her. haha.
130207- eight months one day. and its kinda dead now.
isn't it what u silently wish for, Muz?
yea, come to think of it, i half-wished for it.
it's distinct. like a silent count in my head.
damn i cant NOT think bout it.
*don't frown, coz u never know when someone may fall in love with your smile*
i dont exactly follow that. haha.
2/13/2007 09:15:00 AM
damn. the fourth time.
issit just me, or are they trying to send me a message or something?
i think it's just me. maybe i should, just, forget about keeping tracks of them and treat it as if it's normal.
to me-
stop denying your own feelings.
---
[100207] and i admit i'm one.
i realise life isn't all about enjoying. it's always the case where you experiences some downs after the ups of life. for those luckier ones, they experience more ups. for those miraculous ones, they have the lucky charm with them almost every time. but that's probable. isn't it? considering that life's never fair.
i admit i'm a huge fan of complaining. bigteddy once joked, " i think you should go make a book and name it 'The Book of Complains'." haha. everyone complains; who doesn't? it's just whether it's excessive or not. i admit, sometimes i go beyond the line. but on other times, i keep myself mum. i'm sorry to whoever's ears got burnt due to my rants.
perhaps i should buy myself a punching bag.
i admit i'm sensitive. some things that may be jokes to others can hurt me, though at times i don't show it. once there was a prank made on me, and i just started spilling tears coz it hurt at that moment. hahah. come to think of it, i feel so silly. but being more mature now, i do laugh along at certain funny stuffs and lil' jokes which i never laughed at before, coz i believe they don't harm. and i'm happy coz i've learnt to take jokes and be more lighthearted.
and i admit i'm paranoid at times. haha.
an attention seeker, yes i am. i admit. sometimes i get grumpy coz i lack attention. ahahah. for God-knows-what reasons.
but i dislike crowds at times.haha.
and i admit, i get green over loving couples. haha. it made me wonder why almost all the good guys whom i meet are taken. haha. but i do wish for the best for them. especially that newest one in my clan.. you know who you are, turtle! [pipi!! lolx](:
and so i admit i wanna feel loved. like, a bestie or maybe a special one who'd be there for me when i need him.(or her. generalised.)a someone who would make rotten lil things about life seem okay. and a someone who'd say "i'll be there for you" and mean it.
it will come by, just not the time yet(:
but i'm thankful, really, that i do have friends who care. Thank you, God. for the wonderful friends.
it just gets lonely at times.
i admit i get very angry easily. i can be irrational and unreasonable when i'm angry. yea, i do things impulsively at times. only when i realise my mistake, it'll be too late. what's done cannot be undone. i'm sorry to everyone who was once my victim before.
oops.
i think i admit too much.
2/11/2007 12:26:00 PM
finally revelation is over.
no more sleeping at 3am again for now. haha.
random: i love that bunch of balloons placed at the centre of the hall(:
i'll post that pic when i geddit.
the day when the clouds were beautiful.
because of YOU, im gonna say this again:
i happen to be me.
2/08/2007 09:09:00 PM
in the school library.
i have my maths tutorial infront of me
and i'm wasting my time here.
i have issues to talk about.
they play in my head. but i'm not so smart as to put them into words.
one day maybe.
or maybe it won't come by at all.
``and will you tell of your friends
you've got your gun to my head
2/06/2007 09:42:00 AM
and it happened consecutively. one weekend after another.
though its bliss for a moment, its annoying.
im hating it coz its making me feel lousy. its making my feelings sink deeper into something that i know i can never own.
someone, rather.
get real, Muz.
drained out from all the activities last week. and more are coming up this week.
today itself we had 2.4km run for pc. for the freaking third time.
i know its for our own good.. but thats three times in consecutive pc lessons!
can i stop schooling for a moment?
fat hope.
"i'll be there for you."
hurhur.
2/05/2007 10:22:00 PM
haha. i can still feel the exhaustion from the past few days.
the week's been a very very packed one; preparation for love fiesta, studied for physics, bladibla.
the best was a record-breaking 14 rounds around the track in total for pc this week. lol.
ok. back to loveFiesta.
it was simply superb! so much food- from chicken rice to brownies to fondues to chocolate balls to many many many more!! heh ><
i escorted my friends to and fro and roamed around most of the time, instead of tending to my games stall. haha. sorry karo! =P
thank you to zaid(the manjen wannabe.lol), amoz, ameera and iLham for coming down to my school!! (: (: (:
oh. mum & sis came down too.
syafiq's silat performance group were greattt! and so were the muttonballs. their performance had the biggest crowd. hahaha.
and not forgetting my one of the best times of the day was laughing hysterically at shai and husni and his bro's voices. they went around the games area, stole balloons, sucked the helium gas and started talking. helium+ their voice= cartoon voices! hahaha. those jokers made my day really(:
we made a profit!! haha. didnt expect it though. thanks lotsa to ahmad adrian[a] desiree david chinhua kuinoi sathish and especially the stall ic karo[the cute! ahahakz] for being part of the games stall! and to mr fong too or helping out in promoting the game around the school!
and so i simply knocked out at 10 yesterday. heh.
had haflah (prize giving ceremony) at my mosque in the morning today.
i wonder if i should continue madrasah.. hmm..
im supposed to be studying for maths test tomorrow! heh.
``Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide``
2/04/2007 08:16:00 PM
